Triumph over Tribulation: Joseph’s Lessons on Forgiveness

Have you ever felt forgiveness slipping just beyond your grasp? One minute you’re almost there, then the thoughts of the betrayal settle back in, and it seems impossible. At times, the ache can root itself so deeply that it feels hopeless. If this sounds familiar, know that you are in good company. I, too, have grappled with the challenge of forgiveness. It is rarely easy, but it is vital for our healing. The Torah is replete with wisdom for addressing the difficulties we face in life, and one of my favorite stories of forgiveness is that of Joseph. In honor of this week’s Parashah, Vayigash, I can’t think of a better tale to draw inspiration from. Joseph is a Titan of the Torah, but before we discuss how this narrative can guide us, let’s revisit the story.

Joseph, the son of Jacob and Rachel, was favored by his father, who gave him a coat of many colors. Because of this, Joseph’s brothers were jealous and sold him into slavery in Egypt.Despite this betrayal, Joseph thrived in his new environment, gaining respect for his ingenuity and hard work. His master, Potiphar, chose Joseph to run his estate, leading to a second betrayal.  Potiphar’s wife falsely accused him of making unwanted advances, and Potiphar sent him to prison.

While in prison, Joseph’s gift of dream interpretation shone when he predicted the fate of two fellow prisoners: the execution of one and the absolution of the other. When that came to fruition, the man who survived told the Pharaoh about Joseph’s skill, and the Pharaoh asked him to interpret his dream. Joseph predicted 7 years of abundance followed by 7 years of famine and encouraged the Pharaoh to prepare by setting aside grain.

The Pharaoh was highly impressed by Joseph and made him his assistant. When the famine struck, Joseph’s brothers traveled from Canaan to Egypt to buy grain. They didn’t realize the man they were asking was the brother they sold into slavery more than 20 years ago. Joseph revealed his identity and forgave his brothers.  The family then settled in Egypt near Joseph.

What led to Joseph’s ability to forgive the unthinkable? I believe he had unwavering faith in God. No matter what the challenge, Joseph stayed focused on his creator, building his strength and ability to live his life with a sharp focus on the greater good. Even when he didn’t understand, he continued to pray and follow God’s guidance through dreams and circumstances. He had the uncanny ability to turn difficult situations into opportunities to prosper.

In the same vein, Joseph’s circumstances didn’t break him. As an enslaved person, he worked hard and used his skills to earn respect and a position of responsibility. After the second betrayal, Joseph remained strong and used his abilities to improve his situation once more, gaining fortitude along the way and finally finding himself in a position of power as an assistant to the Pharaoh. No matter what challenge he faced, Joseph worked hard. I have to admit there have been circumstances that made me want to hide under a rock, shut the world out, and never look back, but that’s not where the magic happens. We grow when we forgive and release negative emotions, transforming the pain into fuel that generates positive change in ourselves and the world around us. Joseph teaches us to let go, get to work, and make the world a better place.

In addition to finding the good in dire circumstances, Joseph teaches us to see God’s hand in the difficult times. When he forgave his brothers, he told them that, although they had intended to harm him, he still believed his enslavement was divine providence that led to his high position and the ability to save so many people, including his own family. Seeing divine providence in challenging circumstances is a skill we all have, but one that we sometimes overlook. It’s easy to focus on the transgression against rather than seeing the big picture: there are times when God places us in difficult situations to mold and shape us into better humans. There are lessons in the pain that will make us stronger and more compassionate.

In a nutshell, Joseph’s ability to forgive came from Ahavah, a deeper, more profound love—a love for God, his family, the good of humanity, and even for himself. God is love, and we are all created in his image; therefore, when we are in sync with our creator, we reflect that love to those around us, even to those who have hurt us. Forgiveness doesn’t mean we allow others to treat us poorly; it means freedom from anger, resentment, and bitterness. It means understanding that we are all human and sometimes falter. Forgiveness means breaking the cycle of negativity and turning to love. It means being the light, the light that illuminates the darkness. I hope that you all are having a wonderful holiday season. Happy Hanukkah to those who celebrate! Shalom, Friends!

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