Love these two posts from Epic Pew:
10 Things You Might Be Doing Wrong at Mass
10 More Things You Might Be Doing Wrong at Mass
I agree with them all, and at one time or another, I’m sure I and every other Catholic have been guilty of one or more. But simple politeness, and whatever sense of decorum we have, prevents us from calling out our fellow Catholics during Mass. And maybe if somebody had been able to call us out, we might have corrected our bad habits earlier (or we might correct the ones we still have).
One can’t always have an effect on sloppy liturgy or objectionable music, but there are a few things that would make Mass more pleasant for all of us. Here’s what I’d like to say sometimes to my fellow pewsitters:
- If everyone is kneeling, and you can’t kneel or don’t want to, PLEASE LEAN FORWARD IN THE PEW. I can’t kneel, so I understand this. But you have to shift forward in the pew, so that the person behind you can lean on the back of the pew while kneeling, without having his or her nose in your hair. And you don’t have to put down the kneeler if there’s nobody in front of it in your row, but if you’re a non-kneeler and there are others there, pitch in with kneeler duty.
- For the love of all things holy, make some effort with that Sign of Peace handshake. I already don’t like it — and I don’t miss it a bit at the Tridentine Mass — but at least try to work those digits like you’re a living human being. It’ll serve you well in other areas of life (and here’s Pope Francis showing the way). And if you loathe the Sign of Peace as much as I do, just put your hand on your heart and nod or wave. I’d be happy and grateful to do the same.
- If you insist on holding hands during the Our Father — and I have my arms folded, with my hands tucked inside my sleeves — don’t poke me in the elbow. It’s never acceptable to force physical contact on someone who obviously doesn’t want it. (Gee, it used to be lovely to see families or spouses choose on their own to hold hands during the Our Father, before it became Enforced Community Building in some parishes. This is why we can’t have anything nice.)
- My phone or my tablet is my missal. Mind your own business, even if you think I’m checking my Facebook. But if the device starts making noise in the middle of Mass, feel free to give me a disapproving look. I should have taken care of that beforehand.
- The clapping. Oh, the clapping. It’s not a show, people. Just get up, genuflect — toward the TABERNACLE, as Epic Pew says — and exit. (Again, one of the things that never happens after a Tridentine Mass.)
A few months ago, I went to a Mass where the deacon and his wife took several opportunities to pause and explain what was going on. Teaching Masses like that are terrific, and every parish should have one monthly, if not weekly. As a revert, it took me forever to get used to it all, and I finally had to read the rubrics for myself to understand exactly what was happening.
Now that I’ve started working the odd Tridentine Mass into my schedule, I’m back at square one. But practice makes perfect.
These days, no one should assume a baseline of knowledge among Catholics. Ritual means a thousand percent more when you understand why you’re doing it. Educate yourself, and then help others.
Click here and here and here and here for some primers on how it all works at an Ordinary Form, or Novus Ordo, Mass.
Click here and here and here to get the basics of the Tridentine, or Latin, Mass. And click here for a series of lectures by Fr. Fryar of the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter (FSSP), who offer the Tridentine Mass in many locations (including at certain times at St. Victor in West Hollywood, California. Hope to see you there some Sunday evening…)
Photo: Kate O’Hare
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