Scott Weiland’s Ex-Wife And Children Lost The ‘Sweet Catholic Boy’ Long Before His Death

On Dec. 3, news broke that 48-year-old Stone Temple Pilots lead singer Scott Weiland was found dead on his tour bus. No official cause of death has been released, but there was cocaine on the bus, and Weiland had a history of drug addiction.

Whatever the ultimate cause of his demise, as far as Weiland’s ex-wife Mary Weiland is concerned, their children — Noah, 15, and Lucy, 13 — had lost their father a long time ago.

In a poignant essay published in Rolling Stone on Dec. 7, she, helped by her children, wrote:

What they truly lost on December 3rd was hope.

They lost any chance that their father would emerge from his addictions, psychological issues and neglect of them to become the father they needed for more than brief spurts.

Even after Scott and I split up, I spent countless hours trying to calm his paranoid fits, pushing him into the shower and filling him with coffee, just so that I could drop him into the audience at Noah’s talent show, or Lucy’s musical. Those short encounters were my attempts at giving the kids a feeling of normalcy with their dad. But anything longer would often turn into something scary and uncomfortable for them.

When Weiland remarried, Mary Weiland hoped things would improve, but it didn’t happen. And apparently, another casualty of his lifestyle was his Catholic faith.

From a 2007 interview, here’s Weiland responding to a fan question about what he remembered from singing in a church choir:

There’s still some bits and pieces of Brahms, Mozart’s “Requiem.” I learned all 32 opuses of the “Liebeslieder” waltz, in Geraman. I remember a few hymns and madrigals — you rehearse them so much, those things stick with you. I’m still a practicing Catholic, and it’s an interesting dichotomy; I haven’t lived my life like a perfect Catholic, but I don’t think you have to. I believe in the Devil; I experienced some very bizarre things when I was in the height of my addiction — popped a cork in the genie bottle and felt the Devil — not, like, literally Satan, but energy from that side of the spectrum.

But, wrote Mary Weiland:

Instead, when he remarried, the children were replaced. They were not invited to his wedding; child support checks often never arrived. Our once sweet Catholic boy refused to watch the kids participate in Christmas Eve plays because he was now an atheist. They have never set foot into his house, and they can’t remember the last time they saw him on a Father’s Day. I don’t share this with you to cast judgment, I do so because you most likely know at least one child in the same shoes. If you do, please acknowledge them and their experience. Offer to accompany them to the father-daughter dance, or teach them to throw a football. Even the bravest girl or boy will refrain from asking for something like that; they may be ashamed, or not want to inconvenience you. Just offer – or even insist if you have to.

What Mary Weiland wants is for people not to romanticize her ex-husband’s life or death, to not talk about him being in a better place. In her mind, the place where he is now is the result of how he lived, his problems and his choices, and the better place where he should be is with his children, not lost to them forever.

Instead, she’d rather that his fans take that time, energy and memorabilia money and devote it to the people in their lives — especially children — who need them.

No one can help Scott Weiland now or return him to his children, but for the living, there is always another chance to be a good parent, a good friend, a good son or daughter, or a good spouse … and a good Catholic.

Take it while you still can.

Click here to read the whole essay.

Lastly, as a thought about what might have been had Weiland turned from his demons and back to Christ, here’s his version of the hymn, “Be Not Afraid.”