There’s mercy, and then there’s a Mulligan. One is always available, but the other … not so much.
It’s a hard fact that there are mistakes you can’t come back from, that will haunt, scar and dog you for the rest of your life. You may seek forgiveness and even receive it, but there will still be a temporal price to pay, whether it’s physical, psychological or legal.
The Case of Ray Rice
In Feb. 2014, NFL player Ray Rice of the Baltimore Ravens got into a drunken fight with his then-fiancee, now wife, Janay Palmer. Both were highly intoxicated and swung punches, but Palmer took the brunt of the punishment, including being knocked unconscious. Also, because the altercation took place inside a casino hotel, it was captured on security cameras.
All criminal charges were eventually dropped against Rice when he agreed to undergo counseling, but thus far, the 28-year-old’s pro football career appears to be over — even though, in early 2015, he did prevail in a wrongful-termination suit against the Ravens, receiving $1.588 million.
Despite interviews intended to help redeem Rice in the eyes of the public and the League, no offers to play have been forthcoming. He and his wife are still together — they also have a toddler daughter — and she has consistently defended him, claiming the elevator assault was an isolated incident (although most media sources treat Janay Rice’s statements with skepticism).
Who Is Ray Rice?
Although statistics do not support the idea that NFL players get arrested for crimes more than the general public — and, for some crimes, the numbers are far less — there’s no denying that the League has an issue with domestic violence. There are no excuses or defenses for this, but nothing happens in a vacuum.
Even though players are making lots of money, many of them come from poverty and single-parent households. They are young men who are handed wealth, influence, fame and adulation for playing a gladiator’s game, at an age when it’s particularly difficult to handle all of the above, unless you already have a solid foundation.
Ray Rice’s father was killed in a drive-by shooting when his son was a year old. Ten years later, a cousin, who was both a caretaker and a father figure. died in a car crash. Living in New Rochelle, N.Y., Rice’s family often depended on public assistance and lived in a housing project.
But as early as 8 years old, Rice, the oldest of four siblings, was working to help his mother support the family. She often worked two jobs, including one teaching special-needs children.
Football was the way out for them all.
From a 2010 story originally published at BaltimoreRavens.com:
In large part, Ray’s success has already allowed him to take care of his family. His mother drives a new Lexus and now lives in a safe, waterfront property just about 15 minutes from their old apartment.
But Janet still goes to her job at school, still caring for special needs children.
“I’ve got one more phase left,” Ray said. “It will be her choice whether she wants to work. I want her to fulfill what she wasn’t able to just raising us. I want her to enjoy herself.
“Mom and I have been through a lot, so right now it’s a time where we just get to enjoy this moment in each others’ lives.”
Now enjoying the spoils of the NFL, it’s easy for Janet to see that Ray is now freer to be himself – a 23-year-old boy.
Ray is the smiling, laughing jokester in the Ravens‘ locker room, constantly goofing around with his teammates while always pushing them and himself to improve. He lives by the S.U.P.E. principals, to always uplift those around you.
“When adversity struck it didn’t deter me from being great,” Ray said. “It fueled me. It fueled me to be a person that wanted to leave his mark.”
Put against the videos of the brutal assault, though, all of this becomes just so much background noise.
Rice vs. Lewis vs. Vick…
What makes Rice’s transgressions worse than those of other athletes, who continued to play or make appearances after legal troubles?
Fellow Raven Ray Lewis came back from being arrested in connection with two murders in 2000 to finish out his career on the team in 2013 and then become a TV analyst and author.
Quarterback Michael Vick, who went to prison for dogfighting and animal abuse — which, judging by the furor, a lot of the public deems to be worse than abusing women — returned to the NFL, playing for three different teams so far after serving his time.
It’s not just football.
Boxer Mike Tyson, who went to prison after being convicted in 1992 of raping an 18-year-old beauty-pageant contestant, wound up getting his own series on family-oriented Animal Planet, showing him cuddling his beloved pigeons. He now has an animated show on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim, called “Mike Tyson’s Mysteries.”
UPDATE: And this came in today (Oct. 26), regarding Tyson’s involvement with a Fox game show (emphasis mine):
Get ready to have your mind blown when SUPERHUMAN, the new two-hour special hosted by actor Kal Penn, premieres Monday, Jan. 4 (8:00–10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. The jaw-dropping special will test the abilities of 12 ordinary people to use their extraordinary skills to win a $100,000 grand prize. Each of the contestants possesses a distinct, nearly super-human ability in fields such as memory, hearing, taste, touch, smell and sight. The contestants will be challenged to push their skills to the limit to determine if they are SUPERHUMAN enough to win the $100,000.
Penn, along with a guest panel that includes iconic boxer and entertainer Mike Tyson, actress/ comedian Mary Lynn Rajskub and neurosurgeon Dr. Rahul Jandial, will provide insights and comedic commentary about the competitors’ unique abilities, while guiding the studio audience, who ultimately will decide which mental mastermind takes home the title of SUPERHUMAN and the $100,000 grand prize.
It’s not just men.
U.S. Women’s National Team soccer goalie Hope Solo was arrested for domestic violence in June 2014 after an incident at her half-sister’s house. The charges were dropped, then recently reinstated. In the meantime, Solo stayed on the U.S. team, and currently plays for a pro team, the Seattle Reign.
A Teammate Speaks Up for Rice
Few know much about Rice beyond what they’ve read or seen in the media, but one man who knows far more is former Ravens center Matt Birk, a faithful, powerfully pro-life Catholic revert, husband and father. Now retired and working for the NFL as the director of football development, the Harvard grad spoke to me not long ago about football and faith.
We also talked about Rice, who had been Birk’s teammate.
Without hesitation, Birk said:
People ask me, “Is Ray Rice is a good guy?” I say, “No, Ray Rice is a great guy.” Ray Rice made a bad decision, one that you can’t defend or excuse. I don’t want to be judged by the worst five seconds of my life, either.
Nor would I.
In Rice’s own words:
Image: Wikimedia Commons
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