When Hekate Doesn’t Call…or Answer…or Seems Angry: What’s Going On and Ways to Fix It

When Hekate Doesn’t Call…or Answer…or Seems Angry: What’s Going On and Ways to Fix It June 28, 2018

There are times when we are looking for that blissful Hekatean connection.  Usually when we feel completely alone and overwhelmed. I think this is when we need to turn inwards to reveal our internal goddess as well as the answers we seek. Here are my thoughts on how to get connected to Hekate and our own answers. One of them is to set up a crystal energy grid attuning our energies to Hekate’s. Read on for my thoughts on why we sometimes can’t connect no matter how elaborate our grids or rituals…and ways to fix it.

It’s been almost three years since I found myself wondering around a big bookstore, bereft and desperate for…something, anything to make the pain go away. I was completely exhausted – from a broken heart, too much drama and the complex series of life changes resulting from the ending of a romantic relationship. Silently, I prayed to Hekate to show me the way to relief from my distress… 

from Finding Hekate: Suggestions for Seekers

I was desperate in that moment. Fortunately, I still believed that there was a way out of my distress. Calling upon Hekate not only was an attempt at her favor, but a way of activating my internal Hekatean soul to help myself. One of the most common things I get asked is how to connect with Hekate. I wrote a blog on communicating with her that lists a bunch of practices and techniques that can be helpful:

The likelihood of me be able to involve Hekate in my magick greatly depends on my preparation. Even with spontaneous messages, the more open I am, the more tuned into my inner world and my surroundings, the more likely I am to not miss Hekatean communications. By being open, I am referring to establishing an energetic capacity to recognize Hekate’s energy. I can become more open through various methods, such as learning about Hekate, honoring her and developing my witchcraft skills.

From: Getting Hekate’s Attention

While engaging in practices that increase the likelihood of receiving her attention can be very effective, there are times when nothing we do seems successful. Why is this?

To begin with, my perspective is that we are all part of what we call Hekate:

Earth Mother, you who are called by a thousand names.

May all remember we are cells in your body and dance together.

― Starhawk

Thus, for me, Hekate reflects back upon us what we project:

She will be distant when we are distant from our true selves

She will be wrathful towards us when we are doing this to ourselves.

She will be jealous and petty when we are behaving accordingly.

It’s difficult for us as humans – even being the super powerful witches we are – to perceive Hekate as she truly is. We’re much more likely to attach to one of her energetic currents. The easiest ones to latch onto are the ones we are already projecting. Like attracts like.

So…how do we get over ourselves and connect with Hekate?

Because I have been there, I know how frustrating this is. It sucks witch balls. My advice is to peel it all the way back to the root of the situation.

Remember that Hekate is Always Available

It’s our ability to connect that is the problem, not her. She will see us out of the darkest nights if we are sincere in our petition for help. We can get so caught up in our own dysfunctional drama that we aren’t really willing to step away from it. Are you ready? If so, please know that:

Hekate, as Queen of the Underworld and Torchbearer, is our guide through our own dark times. She’s there to shine her torch along our path through the worst times of our lives. Such times, although miserable, are the times that we grow the most as individuals. Like Persephone’s journey to the Underworld and back, and thus giving us the seasons, we, too, have required phases.  During these times I know that I have often felt completely alone, but as with Persephone, Hekate hears us:

“But no one, either of the deathless gods or of mortal men, heard her voice, nor yet the olive-trees bearing rich fruit: only tender-hearted Hecate, bright coiffed, the daughter of Persaeus, heard the girl from her cave.”   – Homeric Hymn to Demeter, Evelyn-White translation, 1914.

from Oh, Holy Night: Celebrating Hekate of the Under World


“Help Me”: Ask for What You Need

Here is the tricky thing: all that drama you’re experiencing is most likely the symptom and not the problem. If all your spells for financial security are getting you nowhere but more in debt. Pause. Breathe. What is it you really need? More self-confidence? Better career skills?

Remember: Hekate will never do for us what she can’t do through us.

The Witches’ Journey is Epic…Not Easy

Difficult times are a necessary part of our witches’ journey. Calling upon Hekate to help us practice acceptance and enhance our coping skills is often a better approach than asking her to solve our problems for us. She is our guide, not our trained servant:

The meaning of Hekate as Guide is two-fold. The modern application of Hekate as Enodia is that Hekate is both the road representing our journey through this life and our guide along the way. I think that we are all born with a predestined road map that we should follow through any one incarnation. However, there are things that happen that cause us to veer off track. That’s when her role as Guide along our Middle World journey becomes so important. She’ll be there to help us get back on the right path.

from Keeping Her Keys: An Introduction to Hekate’s Modern Witchcraft

Tune into Your Inner Hekate

I am not commenting on any specific situation, these are my beliefs in general. Of course, there are times when we can’t connect to her energy currents. I would argue that’s when we can’t connect to our own. Beyond confidence and acceptance, shifting our energy away from an accidental to an intentional life strengthens the cord between our internal goddess and Hekate:

I’m concluding my observations about Hekate as the Goddess of Our Time by talking a bit about personal sovereignty. I’ve mentioned that there is great diversity in how people perceive Hekate and in how they interact with her. Contemporary Hekate is all about “you do you.” She’s also about standing on your own two feet rather than blindly trusting in her to intervene on your behalf. Most of her followers that I know are action oriented and committed to personal development. This is not a Goddess for Passive People.                                     

from Hekate: Goddess of Our Time

Focus for Rituals, Spells, Etc.

Here’s an excerpt from a recent conversation I had with a fellow Hekatean witch. She asked for advice, here’s my response:

“I am going to make a few suggestions. You mentioned your intense distress that you’ve been experiencing for quite a while. Trust me, I’ve been there. You also wrote that you’ve been doing all manner of witchery to improve your circumstances. I think you were referring to material world things, please correct me if I’m wrong. I would suggest that if the goals of these workings are to fix the overt problem, such as financial insecurity, that perhaps an alternative strategy may be to manifest a change in your mindset. The overt things may be a symptom of a greater issue that can be changed with mundane and magickal practices and techniques. If you don’t know where to begin, then a working to reveal where to begin can be most helpful.

Also, Hekate tends to step back when we need to do some deep learning. Like a wise mother, she knows when we are ready to fly…even if we don’t think so.

I wish you many blessings along your way. Hail Hekate, may she shine her torch before you.”

Get out your crystal ball and seek revelations…notice that it shines back at YOU.

Suggested Ritual and Crystal Grid

From the Temple of Hekate Skotia (also known as my living room):

Do your usual preparations of purification, prepare your grid (burn sage if you can) and attune your Three Selves with the Worlds and elements. This will open you up to your internal wisdom while bridging your perceived gap with Hekate. An image of her should be placed near or within the grid.  Concentrate on her dominion over the Worlds and elements as you call them. This will attune you to all of the sacred seven currents within and without, above and below.

Hail Hekate of the Under World,
I call to the Under World and the Sea, 
My lower self and the energy of emotions,
I call upon you now,
Attend my ritual.

Hail Hekate of the Upper World,
I call to the Upper World and the Sky,
My higher self and the energy of intellect,
I call upon you now,
Attend my ritual.

Hail Hekate of the Middle World,
I call to the Middle World and the Land,
My middle self and the energy of actions,
I call upon you now,
Attend my ritual.

Hail Hekate of the Earth,
I call to the Forces of the North, Element of Earth,
I call you forth from below, Attend my ritual.

Hail Hekate of the Wind,
I call to the Forces of the East, Element of Air,
I call you forth from the wind, Attend my ritual.

Hail Hekate of the Fires,
I call to the Forces of the South, Element of Fire,
I call you forth from the eternal flame, Attend my ritual.

Hail Hekate of the Seas,
I call to the Forces of the West, Element of Water,
I call you forth from the water, Attend my ritual.
Elements and Realms combined with the Selves and Functions, 
lend strength to this working. 
This ritual has begun.

Add your specific petition for communication, guidance, etc.

Full Moon Crystal Grid

Lepidolite – ease the mind
Clear Quartz – all purpose, protection, manifestation
Blue Agate – communication, visions
Stilbite – Focus, Relief (also the official mineral of Nova Scotia and The Temple of Hekate Skotia)
Smokey Quartz – Abundance, Emotion, Unity, Sex
Amethyst – Healing
Black Obsidian (our revelations sphere)

Contemplate the crystals, see their energy activating your inner truth, goddess, etc. and connecting to Hekate’s energy currents. Release the energy for the sort of connecting you seek: understanding, healing, insight.

Release when ready.

Connect with us in The Witches’ Realm for events (the ritual and grid are from our most recent Full Moon Circle).



About Cyndi
Cyndi Brannen is a witch and spiritual teacher living the coastal life in rural Nova Scotia. She is a trained energetic healer, psychic and herbalist. Merging together her training in shamanism, Tarot, past life work, meditation and psychology, she teaches and writes about better living through witchcraft. She founded Open Circle Wellness about a decade ago which now offers online courses, including, The Sacred Seven: A Course in Applied Modern Witchcraft (currently available at keepingherkeys.com). She has written the forthcoming Keeping Her Keys: An Introduction to Hekate’s Modern Witchcraft. She is currently writing two books, one on The Sacred Seven and the second in her Hekate’s Modern Witchcraft series, this one about Under World energy, which includes Medea. Hekate’s Modern Witchcraft: The First Key is a year-and-a-day course that will start November 1. You can read more about the author here.

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