What’s a Leader to Do with Women in Conflict?

 Are you a bulldozer?

Forceful, in-your-face male leaders can scare women so much that the peace process is shackled. Do not be timid in your approach but a gentler tone of voice is usually more productive with women.

When is it over?

How do you know when true reconciliation has been achieved? Your goal is to help each woman understand and empathize with her opponent. Do they both see things through the other’s eyes? If so, you are making progress. Do they each realize how the other feels and have they both honestly asked for forgiveness? Do you need to hammer out a practical plan together that will pave the way to lasting peace and put the issue to rest?

Follow-up       

With women, it is often hard to tell if they have really buried the hatchet. Follow up questions offered a few weeks or months later may be helpful to ensure that the issue is not bubbling to the surface again, about to erupt. Is the conflict over? Are they moving on? The women will probably appreciate that you cared enough to check up on the status of the issue.

Your reward

Just as Paul instructed the male leaders in Philippi to intervene in the women’s dispute in their church, God may use you to help women in your ministry make peace. We don’t know the outcome in Philippi. Neither are you guaranteed favorable results. But experience has shown us that when male leaders involve themselves in the process, women listen. Most Christian women highly respect the men who serve God in their church, especially when these men show that they value women as sisters and appreciate their contributions. You can make the difference!

Brothers and sisters, if a person is discovered in some sin, you who are spiritual restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness. Pay close attention to yourselves, so that you are not tempted too.
Galatians 6

Excerpted from Leading Women Who Wound, by Dr. Sue Edwards and Kelley Mathews (2011, Kregel Publications).