Growing up in the 80s and 90s, many of us remember Nancy Reagan’s famous campaign to keep kids off drugs. The “Just Say No” slogan was everywhere—at school assemblies, in TV commercials, even on the lips of police officers who visited our classrooms. There were T-shirts, folding frisbees, cups, and more that were distributed with this slogan on them. We loved the freebies. This slogan was probably as well-known as Nike’s “Just Do It.” Whether used in earnest or in jest, the phrase became etched into our hearts and minds as part of the wider “War on Drugs.”
Just saying no can also lead to peace.
Learning to Say No in Life
The truth is, we still need to learn how to say no—only now it’s not just about drugs. In a previous post, I wrote about how we have become beaten by the false gospel of busyness. Many of us have bought into the lie that busyness equals godliness. But transformation isn’t about how much we do—it’s about who we are in Christ. Being busy for God won’t make God happier with us, nor will it make us more holy.
I lament that my schedule often looks like 40 hours at Water Street Mission, 15 hours at River Corner Church, and less than I’d like with my family. The inflation of our world is keeping us more and more busy, and less in our nuclear families. The electronics we own are keeping us away from each other, even when we are together. In hindsight, I see how some of my previous ministry roles consumed even more of me, time-wise and mental capacity, sometimes at my family’s expense. I’ve had to learn the hard way to say no. I am still practicing what it means to say no. To learn to “Be still and know I am God,” it takes a lot of practice to “Just say no,” and be still. Not too long ago, my friend Matt told me, “Don’t kill yourself for a place that will replace you by Monday after you die.” That simple statement has become a filter for my decisions since then. The same is true for anything we keep ourselves busy with. Your family and your faith are the only eternal things, and the lives you touch on those journeys are the only things that matter in this world.
The Wisdom of Saying No
The book of Proverbs reminds us that wisdom is rooted in the fear of the Lord. These wise sayings, much like cultural slogans, offer us memorable truths to live by. Such books are found in many nations. However, for Christians and Jews, wisdom comes from and is the gift of Adonai. Proverbs 5 gives a sobering picture of a life that fails to live with discipline. The author confesses that he ignored instruction, kept busy with every kind of evil, and became known for it (Proverbs 5:12–14). Among his transgressions are many transactional relationships with women.
This word for discipline has a lot of meaning. The scriptural discipline is a gift, it’s celebrated, it isn’t about punishment—it’s about living in a faithful, integrity-driven way, that is regulated, intentional living. It’s a way of saying no to distractions, temptations, and unnecessary burdens so that we can say yes to the right things. Discipline leads to life, but a lack of discipline leads to destruction (Proverbs 5:23).
Staying Faithful to What’s Before Us
Proverbs compares disciplined living to marital faithfulness: drinking from your own cistern, being satisfied with the responsibilities and blessings God has already placed before you (Proverbs 5:15–19). In contrast, undisciplined living is likened to chasing after a forbidden relationship—infatuated with what doesn’t belong to you. These verses have been used in conversations on marriage, and they should be, but this is not their only intent in my opinion. Indeed, as some scholars like Duane A. Garrett have pointed out, “The passage uses general language to make the point that adultery leads to personal degeneration and financial depletion. The man who indulges himself will pay the price a hundred times over.” Anything we give into of this world, with a lack of discipline, is caught up in this same imagery. Being busy with the things of this world will lead to personal degeneration and financial depletion. As Brandon Salmon blogs, “this verse is a poignant reminder of the power of discipline and the danger of ignoring it. Lack of discipline opens the door to reckless choices, leading us far from God’s righteousness. When we allow short-term satisfaction and passions to dictate our actions, we become susceptible to temptations that promise pleasure but deliver only pain.”
On a plain and simple level, Proverbs 5 is about sexual integrity and marital faithfulness. Yes, the text is directly about marriage and the danger of being seduced outside of it. Yet, at the same time, like much of Proverbs, though, the imagery carries symbolic weight for many areas of our lives. The “forbidden woman” becomes a picture of the folly, distraction, and unfaithfulness to God we get busy with in this world. The alternative, remembering to drink refreshingly from your own cistern, rejoicing in your spouse, is a picture of contentment, disciplined living, and fidelity to God’s design.
You and I embrace the forbidden women the minute we give in to busyness. Everyone knows it around town; we all know we do this. When we give in to busyness, it’s like cheating on the life God has entrusted us with. We chase after the “loose women” of the world: distractions, empty pursuits, endless tasks, and worldly applause (of which we can never seemingly have enough). Meanwhile, the gifts of God—our families, our faith, our moments of rest—are neglected.
Saying No in the Digital Age
One of the greatest temptations today is social media. It lures us into endless busyness with arguments, conspiracies, and images we were never meant to carry. YouTube is discipling people, and TikTok stories, more than churches. I know because I see it all the time at Water Street Mission, where I work.
In recent days, with the death of Charlie Kirk, my feeds have been flooded with commentary. Sadly, both liberals and conservatives have shown just how tied up they are in their political camps—offering take after take, post after post, arguing with anyone who dares to disagree. Their sins are in the street, as Proverbs describes, and everyone sees it. I have “friends” who have posted four or five times on the tragedy, then spent hours debating a dozen more in the comments section.
As a side note, how much evil has poured out into the streets, as Proverbs described? Lots. What shocks me most is the voices explaining how they cannot feel sadness. That blows my mind. Whatever your politics, the inability to grieve loss—even of someone you disagreed with—is not a strength, it’s evil. It’s evidence of how deeply our hearts have been discipled by partisanship instead of Christ. We have continued to embrace the “loose woman” of our culture and dance with her in the open. In many ways, it reveals that we have become evil, not only in what we tolerate but in how we busy ourselves with the wrong things. We are sleeping around with other ideals—ideologies that demand our loyalty more than the Kingdom of God.
This endless stream of commentary does our souls no good. Same with the videos designed to desensitize us to death. These things are evil plots meant as tools that distract us, divide us, and keep us from faithfulness in the places and relationships God has actually entrusted to us. Drink from your own cistern, the bride of Christ.
So I am in a season of choosing to say no. Instead of joining the noise, I prayed the prayer Jesus taught us: “Deliver us from evil.” That is all I posted about it. In an age when evil feels amplified, one of the most practical disciplines we can embrace is simply refusing to consume and participate in the chaos online. Stop sleeping around with all the conspiracies, confusion, and conflict. Speak truth when it is needed, but not everyone needs your thoughts. You don’t need to get involved in the busyness of the streets, go into your room, close the door, lament, and cry. Disciple your nuclear family system rightly.
The Call to Just Say No
The old slogan still has truth for us today. Just say no. No to busyness disguised as faithfulness. No to distractions that keep us from our families. No to digital noise that steals our peace.
Saying no is not just resistance—it’s spiritual discipline. It’s choosing the life God has set before us, with joy and gratitude, instead of running after every demand or distraction. If we can learn to say no, we may discover that what we have is already enough.
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What distractions or “forbidden women” in your own life are pulling you away from the gifts and responsibilities God has already entrusted to you?
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Where do you need to learn to “just say no” so that you can say a deeper yes to God, family, and what truly matters?
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How might practicing discipline—through Sabbath rest, prayer, or intentional boundaries—help you resist the false gospel of busyness this week?
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