Feeling Emotionally Stuck? 3 Sure-Fire Ways To Move Past The Pain Of Divorce (Or Any Loss)

A leader can’t lead unless he knows where he’s going.

That’s one of my favorite TV show lines, spoken by the ever-evolving character, John Locke, in the television series Lost. That statement speaks volumes about a lot of the discontentment many people in general feel these days, but definitely a familiar lament for men and women who go through a divorce and can’t seem to move past it.

Divorce is a devastating experience that effects all levels of life, especially for Catholics because of the Church’s consistent upholding of Christ’s teaching that condemns divorce. Especially for those who were divorced against their will, or divorced to save themselves from abusive relationships, it can feel like you’re wearing a huge scarlet “D” that alienates you from other Catholics.

Once the dust has settled (which for many people can, unfortunately, take years due to court battles that drag on and on) and you begin to feel the ground under your feet again, there can be this sense of bewilderment… now what? Which is why John Locke’s statement is so important. You’ll never be able to move forward unless you know where you’re headed.

I went through this, myself, in the years after my divorce and after a long period of struggle and feeling stuck, I finally decided I had to take a step forward somehow. So, after taking some time to reflect on the things I didn’t like about my life and what I wanted to change, I sat down and wrote myself a road map so I would know which steps to take and where I was headed. I’d like to share these with you now, in case you, too, are feeling stuck and could use a friendly push in the right direction.