One of the most important aspects of healing after divorce is something many people don’t even recognize as necessary; the act of detachment, or letting go.
This aspect might seem very much like forgiveness, but there is an important distinction. Forgiveness is a moral decision, while detachment is more of a practical decision. It requires taking action. Many of the saints practiced detachment through having a preference of embracing only those things that were God’s will and letting go of anything contrary to that. This made it easier to not be attached to money, possessions or disordered passions.
When people get divorced, they wind up with emotional possessions; wounds, desires, or emotions they cling to, sometimes to use as a shield they think will protect them from future hurt, sometimes as a way of hanging on to what they loved so as not to completely lose it.
Right now, you may be clinging to emotions that are preventing you from healing, such as anger, resentment, retribution, the hope that your ex-spouse will know someday how much pain you’re in, or hanging on to hope that his/her new marriage or relationship will fail. Whatever it is you are holding tightly to, these emotional possessions are preventing you from having a healthy perspective on life and the ability to trust others. It is important for you to release your grip on them and let them go.
In this 3rd video of the Six Keys To Healing, I will walk with you through what detachment from these emotional possessions looks like and offer you some important food for thought from the 1997 movie, Titanic.