Have you seen those fathers at the football games or the soccer games that push the limits of everyone’s patience? There is such a thing as being too involved in your kids lives. One thing is to become that deadbeat dad that doesn’t do anything for his children and a completely different thing is to become the father that pushes his children to fulfill his dreams. Both are just as bad! Today on Manly Training, the sixth worst thing fathers do.
6. Expect Your Child to Fulfill Your Dreams
“The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old.” Proverbs 20:29 (NLT)
Do you get what Solomon is saying here? There are advantages of being young that you don’t have as much when you’re old and vice versa. We don’t need to envy another age group because whatever age we are has unique advantages. Older folks have more experience and hence more wisdom than the young. Therefore parents should let their children fulfill their own dreams – or better yet – fulfill what God has laid out for their lives instead of trying to live their lives through their children.
American Idol’s over-involved Dad
One of the semi-finalists of American Idol in 2008, David Archuletta, has a father who was banned from backstage by the producers of the show. Apparently he was too involved in his son’s competition. He changed the lyrics to one of the songs his son was to sing and added the lyrics of another song for one verse, leading the show to have to pay royalties for a second song they hadn’t planned on. I’m sure the show has the money but the incident represented a lot of other stuff that had been happening with this “over-involved” dad.
I don’t pretend to know this father’s motivations. But to me, he seems to represent a trend in our culture. Parents who get into verbal and physical fights with umpires at Little League games. Moms who push little girls into beauty contests so that they can receive praise through their kids or dads like Archuletta’s who go overboard – to perhaps get recognition for themselves.
Whose Children Are They Anyhow?
Fathers, children are not our property! They belong to God. We are only stewards to bring them up in God’s truth. We need to pray for and train them to follow God’s path for their lives, not our plan for their lives.
Perhaps you didn’t achieve every success you wanted to as a child. Don’t make the mistake of trying to push your child to do what you didn’t get to do. That kind of pushiness often breeds resentment and rebellion.
“Get a life” outside your child’s life. Build adult friendships and enjoy activities with people your age in addition to doing things with your children. Act your age. You’ll be happier and your kids will be better adjusted.
This was number six of seven worst things a father cad do, but perhaps the worst thing a dad can do is to ignore his own spiritual life! We will talk more about that next time. Until next time, be a man!
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