Babylon Bee: Excited Parents Throw Gender Reveal Party For Their Teenager

The Babylon Bee hilariously parodies culture on its satirical website, but one recent article hit a little too close to reality.  The article, under the headline “Excited Parents Throw Gender Reveal Party For Their Teenager,” describes how thrilled these fictional parents are to — finally — figure out if their fifteen year old is a boy or a girl.

Here’s how the imagined party went down:

The party-goers reportedly partook in games like guessing the gender using pink, blue, purple, green, red, and brown M&Ms to cast their vote, taking a quiz to see who knew the most of the teenager’s triggers, and winning pins from other guests who slipped up and used the wrong pronoun for the child.

“I bet it’s a demi-male dragonkin,” Cindy Johnson from Mrs. Murphy’s yoga class whispered. “I just have a feeling!”

“No, no—see how the kid is wearing a hoodie and brooding? I’ll bet that’s a sign it’s a bisexual female,” an elderly woman replied. “It may be an old wives’ tale, but it holds true every time. Just you wait and see.”

Parody?  Maybe.  Based on the stories we read today…more like a foreshadowing of tomorrow.  Our culture is obsessed with — and completely baffled by — gender.  Facebook now has 71 options.  Yes, really.  I’ll post them at the bottom of this piece for your amusement.  But I guess that’s the thing, isn’t it?  This new twist on identity politics isn’t funny at all.

Having gender confusion used to be a psychological problem.   Now it’s a badge of honor, an almost-required part of growing up in today’s messed up culture.

Let’s hope we collectively wake up, before this satirical article becomes the latest trend.

Facebook’s Gender Options:

Asexual

Female to male trans man

Female to male transgender man

Female to male transsexual man

F2M

Gender neutral

Hermaphrodite

Intersex man

Intersex person

Intersex woman

Male to female trans woman

Male to female transgender woman

Male to female transsexual woman

Man

M2F

Polygender

T* man

T* woman

Two* person

Two-spirit person

Woman

Agender

Androgyne

Androgynes

Androgynous

Bigender

Cis

Cis Female

Cis Male

Cis Man

Cis Woman

Cisgender

Cisgender Female

Cisgender Male

Cisgender Man

Cisgender Woman

Female to Male

FTM

Gender Fluid

Gender Nonconforming

Gender Questioning

Gender Variant

Genderqueer

Intersex

Male to Female

MTF

Neither

Neutrois

Non-binary

Other

Pangender

Trans

Trans Female

Trans Male

Trans Man

Trans Person

Trans*Female

Trans*Male

Trans*Man

Trans*Person

Trans*Woman

Transexual

Transexual Female

Transexual Male

Transexual Man

Transexual Person

Transexual Woman

Transgender Female

Transgender Person

Transmasculine

Two-spirit

Image Credit: Deviant Art