Hear me, my followers, and obey!
I command you to pick a daffodil and give it to the first person you meet with blond hair parted on the left side!
I command you to stand on one foot reciting the sacred words of Howard the Duck:
Salmon are fish!
Salmon are pretty!
Salmon have scales!
Do wah diddy!
I command you to say “Toy Boat” three times fast whenever you see a Volkwagen today!
That is all!
(I’ve *always* wanted to have followers! How fun to be a cult leader! Gosh! You guys are the *best*!)