A reading from the Book of Cable News

And his fawning sycophant Chris Matthews was filled with the Spirit of the Age, and prophesied, saying, “Blessed be the Zeitgeist of the Media, for it has visited and redeemed us, the Right Sort of People, and has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant FDR, as he spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets from of old, that we should be saved from our enemies, and from the hand of all who are stupider than us; to create the utopia promised to our planner, and to remember his holy covenant, the oath which he swore to our father Cronkite, to grant us that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve the Zeitgeist without fear, in superiority and licentiousness before it all the days of our life. And you, Howard, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before Obama to prepare his ways, to give knowledge of salvation to our viewers in the denial of their sins, through the empty rhetoric of our god, when the day shall dawn upon us from on high to give TV to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of bread and circuses.”