A reader writes

Have you read of the curious accounts coming from the Pacific?

I am afraid that this is ichor exuded from the dead city of R’lyeh, where Cthulhu is no doubt stirring in his cyclopean lair. We should make our peace
now.

As we saw with poor Mr. Akeley of Townshend, Vermont, the Elder Gods and their minions exact a price from those who pry into their affairs. I fear that my own life shall be cut short, and urge you to block any future messages from this email address, as the hand that writes the missives may not be my own. Please do not open your mind to the eldritch powers of persuasion that Cthulhu’s sinister cult possesses.

Farewell, and very sincerely yours,

Nothing to be alarmed about. We were just tidying up and washing out the noisome pits of suffering located in the caves behind the rotting sea cliffs upon which my Dark Tower broods over the perpetually icy and storm-tos’t seas. They sort of fill up with…. bio-matter over time and my motto is “A clean pit of suffering is an efficient pit of suffering.”