Shea Takes Second Place In Follower Competition!!!

Longenecker comes in next to last. At least, that’s the official story according to Fr. Longenecker.

Personally I think the evidence is inconclusive. He officially claims 301 followers (though in private emails he boasts a higher number).

Can we really trust somebody who can’t get his story straight like that? I think not. Also, if you read the comments at his site, you find *numerous* (if you round up to one hundred) posts which say things like, “I’m just a fair weather follower and will follow Shea if he says something nice about me or links my blog”. How that affects the final outcome is a question much on the minds of people like the delightful, beautiful and talented Karen, who asks, “So what happens if some of your followers defect and you drop below 300?” and who obviously deserves *so* much better than Fr. Longenecker;s reckless and uncaring drive for mere numbers. Also, I can’t help but notice that Fr. Longenecker can’t even be bothered to answer her question. I guess not all Dark Lords can take the heat. Don’t you let it bother you one bit, Karen. You are welcome over here any time!

Likewise, when the gifted and exciting Tim Burke writes to Fr. Longenecker, “I shall follow you, but you must follow my blog in return, otherwise I will pledge allegiance to Shea!” I can totally see why he and his superb blog (http://timburke74.blogspot.com Do check it out!) would cry out for attention and why a warm and wonderful human being like Tim might want to COMPLETELY WITHDRAW FROM FOLLOWING FR. LONGENECKER AND TRANSFER HIS COMPLETE LOYALTY TO MY BLOG FOR ALL OF TIME AND ETERNITY given that Fr. Longenecker ruthlessly appropriates him as a follower without stopping for a second to notice that Tim’s blog (which is located here) really deserves notice.

I also note that there appears to be some confusion (confusion I feel it is only my duty to ~~foment~~ explore) when one of Fr. Longenecker’s readers writes:

I’m confused… I’m subscribed … and it says … that Shea…has 580 [followers].

Based on this shocking new evidence, I think it’s clear that we have something like the hanging chad situation of 2000. Clearly what we need to do is either have a re-do of the competition (very messy and painful for a nation in need of healing) or, better yet, I will *graciously* agree to round down my numbers to, say, 500, and see where that leaves me in relation to Fr. Longenecker’s claim of 301 followers.

Oh! Look! It puts me roughly 200 poin… I mean, followers, ahead!

Fr. Longenecker: Yours was a game well-played. You did the very best you could and that’s all one could ask of any person! Still, I must urge you to kneel and beg for mercy. You’re a nice priest and I may well still kill you last.

As to Laura Zimmerman, my 300th Follower, who writes: