Makes you want to stand right up and salute the whole “American Catholic” concept!

American Catholics: leading the way in the fight for abortion rights *and* torture!

Remember: the important thing is to put ideology before the actual teaching of the Church. That, increasingly, is what “being an American Catholic” means in this day and age. It matters little which ideology you prefer. Either one will have cogent critiques of the other that will fill you with the warm sense of assurance that Your Tribe is both Smart and Good and They are both Wicked and Stupid. The main thing is: don’t abandon ideology for actual Church teaching because then you will be in danger of having to think rather than regurgitate a party line set of talking points about “anti-choice oppressors” or “America-hating limp wristed peaceniks”. In the words of Barbie, “thinking is hard”. Let your favorite ideological programmer do it for you. Never let it enter your head that Your Tribe could also be supporting grave intrinsic evil. Recal the invaluable mantra “separation of Church and State”. When the Church calls for respect for human life from liberals, shout “Keep your rosaries off my ovaries!” When it demands it from conservatives, tell the bishops to shut up and keep their noses out of National Security Issues and the need to preserve torture as an American Value.