The Horror of Jolly Reparative Therapy

A reader writes:

I know you are trying to contain your outrage about the show “The Biggest Loser”. It seems this show is dedicated to converting those living the Jolly Lifestyle over to “normal” people who wish to rid themselves of the “evil” of Jolly-ness.

I personally was highly offended at the hosts of the show. They made them participate in horrendous acts of exercise and actually yelled and spit in the faces of the Jolly contestants making them feel less than human. According to these hosts, they are disordered individuals with severe problems that could only be resolved by tearfully confessing their offenses on national television, and to embark on a long, arduous, de-Jollying program over the coming months.

Please try to contain your anger, as I am trying not to be offended.

The entire temperanormative assumption from which bigoted shows like “The Biggest Loser” proceed shows just how far America needs to go. The notion that Jollies have some “disease” for which we need a “cure”, rather than celebrating our glorious appetites, is part and parcel of this sort of mentality. Instead of shows like this, the American public should be watching (and should be *made* to watch) shows which celebrate the Jolly Lifestyle. Ideological enemies and traitors to Jolliness, like the sick denialist contestants on such shows, should be compelled to acknowledge that they can never *ever* do a thing about their appetites, nor should they ever desire to do anything about them–under pain of swift and terrible punishment!

We’re Out and We’re Stout! Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that we are out and stout!