509 Followers!

Dear shuffling lackeys and lickspittles:

Now that Angeles Duran owns the sun and is charging for its use, I command you all to join me in a class action suit on behalf of anyone who has suffered sunburn, heat stroke, skin cancer, climate change, or any other form sun-related injury. The owner of the Sun should also be held liable for failure to provide an instruction manual. If people cannot be expected to know how to use shampoo without instructions, how can they be expected to not radically misuse a 4.5 billion year old fusion reactor that makes the earth look like a blue BB? As your Dark Lord and the Entity of Evil who has your back, I think it only fair that, until my breeding program completes its plans for a race of Uruk-Hai who can move at speed in sunlight, I do what I can to squelch this public menace and shroud all the lands in a second darkness.

In conclusion, I give you this to think about:

That is all!