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Today, my minions, I return from our Hidden Island Redoubt and find that many of you have been left to fend for yourselves in my Pits of Despair during my absence. As a gesture of forgiveness to you for being so rude as to starve to death while I was not here to toss you strips of manflesh and grass clippings, I offer the following, courtesy of one of my henchmen who accompanied us for some much needed R&R;:

In the wake of yet another successful and enjoyable Memorial Day @ Hidden Island Redoubt, some have asked me for the clam chowder recipe from the vat o’ goodness that we enjoyed yesterday and today. I started with the one at this link and modified it with some help from my sister-in-law, for 20 servings as follows:

Makes 20 servings
Ingredients

7-1/2 (6.5 ounce) cans minced clams (we used 5 cans since we couldn’t dig for clams this year)
shrimp (not part of the original recipe but we added a full bag of the frozen shrimp that Costco or Sam’s sells)
2-1/2 cups minced onion
2-1/2 cups diced celery
kale (not part of the original recipe but we added on the order of 3 cups)
5 cups cubed potatoes
2-1/2 cups diced carrots
1-3/4 cups and 2 tablespoons butter (we used four sticks of butter)
1-3/4 cups and 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour (we used two full cups)
10 cups half-and-half cream (we actually used a full 1/2 gallon)
1/4 cup and 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar (I used closer to 1/2 cup — maybe more)
1 tablespoon and 3/4 teaspoon salt (we used more salt)
ground black pepper to taste
2 Knorr-brand pork bouillon cubes (not part of the recipe but these cubes enhanced the flavor)
(optional) Hot Sauce such as Western Family Wing Sauce or Western Family/Trappey’s Lousiana Hot Sauce also adds some nice flavor to it as well.

Directions

Brown 14 strips of bacon in the large skillet, remove them and let them drain. Drain juice from clams into a large skillet over the onions, celery, potatoes, carrots, and reserved bacon fat. Add water to cover, and cook over medium heat until tender.

Meanwhile, in a large, heavy saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Whisk in flour until smooth. Whisk in cream and stir constantly until thick and smooth. Stir in vegetables and clam juice. Heat through, but do not boil. Crumble the bacon into the soup after it is all combined. Stir in clams just before serving. If they cook too much they get tough. When clams are heated through, stir in vinegar, and season with salt and pepper.

Alas, due to an oversight by a craven lickspittle in my employ, the red tide toxin which was supposed to be released into the waters of Puget Sound after my vacation was over–rendering the Pacific Northwest a lifeless moonlike void in which I alone reign supreme–was, in fact, released before we got there, meaning there was no clamming on the beach. My lickspittle was, of course, swiftly dispatched for his error and made excellent trout bait. However, I can’t help but suspect that another of you has tampered with the red tide toxic since the area around Puget Sound remains distinctly unmoonlike. I will be sending down various samples of clams for your chowder which I must insist that you taste. I just want to see what happens.

That is all!