Catholic and Enjoying It!
Today, my suckups, toadies, grovellers and brown noses, I command you to celebrate National Donut Day by watching me eat Donuts over the security monitor hook to my Pits of Despair. Mmmmmmmmm! Delicious!
I naturally can’t let you have any as that might put ideas of Hope and Change in your heads. But I will have the kitchen vent the fresh baked scent down to you, just to remind you that this is, after all, a Dark Tower I’m running here and not some Suzy Homemaker Shoppe.
If one of you manages to escape and get a donut today, please be aware that I have subliminally conditioned you (a la The Manchurian Candidate, one of my most inspirational films) to babble about Jolly Pride non-stop the moment anything besides thin gruel touches your tongue. This will, sooner or later (probably sooner) prompt a call to The Authorities and my power drunk Security Forces will then round you up on charges of “whatever crap they feel like” and deliver you back to my tender ministrations.
That is all!
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