“Caregivers” waterboard 89 year old woman over ice cream

Fortunately, as we know from hundreds of conversations with deeply Catholic moral thinkers right here in my comboxes over the years this completely harmless form of persuasion (dunking is what our draft-dodging former Veep called it) isn’t even close to torture or anything. And the fact that it has to be used only shows that the victim had it coming because they would not cooperate with lawful authority. So I don’t even know why this is news. The logical conclusion of the deeply Catholic arguments for the goodness and greatness of waterboarding has convinced me that, if anything, we should be using it more, not just on swarthy people with foreign-sounding names overseas, but on all the riff-raff out there, right here at home, who won’t do as they are told or who *might* know something about something suspicious. If the People’s Democratic National Security State of Heaven can pepper spray 84 year olds, tase bedridden 86 year olds, and assure us that pepper spray is harmless for 10 year olds, what’s the big deal about harmlessly and safely waterboarding 89 year olds or anybody else we might feel could be up to something, or know somebody who is possibly up to something? After all, as one noble upholder of American virtue has said, “I would waterboard a five year old girl if it could save American lives.”

Catholic torture apologists: welcome to the new world your miserable cowardice and sophistry is helping to bring to birth.