I think we have found our Dark Horse Candidate

Screw Obama and the GOP Bizarros. This is the guy for me!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the next President of the United States: Mr. Vermin Supreme!

I’m totally voting for a man who truly understands how seriously our political culture deserves to be treated.

Update:

A reader writes:

I too was excited about his candidacy. However, upon studying his website, I found out that he too is a consequentialist. He promises federal funding for time machine research so that we can go back in time and kill Hitler. Other than that, I support him, especially his position on federally mandated oral hygiene.

Actually, he is not a consequentialist since, in this case, the effect precedes the cause. You see? Jesuitical moral formation has an answer for everything!