I have now risen to third place while the usurping Jen Fulweiler is second to last! Excellent work my toadies and cravens! I shall have the slaves pick the maggots from your bread before serving it tonight!
However, we still have far to go. According to my Justice and Truth Vote Weighting System, Fr. Z is falling further and further behind me. Weighting his riff raff voters as the 1/10 of a person they deserve to be reckoned as, I believe in my heart that I lead him 8% to 6%. But the convention middle class “morality” of Mr. Richert’s so-called “fair” vote seem to want nothing to do with modern electioneering statistics. So Fr. Z is still reckoned as “being in the lead”.
To help rectify this wrong, I am forced to once again subject the People of Earth to savage reprisals until they learn to fear and love me as I deserve. Today, I unleash on an unsuspecting world this spectacle:
Please don’t force me to do that again.