Attention, Young Lovers!

Attention, Young Lovers! June 23, 2012

The Dear Leader Requires Sacrifice! If you are about to be married, do not selfishly ask for gifts so that you can start your puny, unimportant lives together.

Instead, the Dear Leader is asking you to forego wedding gifts and ask your guests to donate to the Dear Leader.

Everything in the Campaign, nothing outside the Campaign, nothing against the Campaign. For from Obama, and through him and to him are all things.

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Obama. 22* Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the President. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Obama is the head of the country, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 As the country is subject to Obama, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Obama loved the country and bummed money off her, 26 that he might exploit her, having fleeced her by the cadging of dough from wedding guests, 27 that he might present the country to himself in poverty, without nickel or dime or any such thing, that she might be dependent and without resources. 28 Even so husbands should love their wives as their own donor base. He who sponges off his wife loves himself. 29 For no man ever hates his own donor base, but squeezes and exploits it, as Obama does the party faithful, 30 because they are suckers. 31* “For this reason a dollar shall leave its wallet and it owner and be joined to the Obama campaign, and the two shall become one flash ad.” 32 This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Obama and the country; 33 however, let each one of you love his wife as a pigeon, and let the wife see that she dedicates her wedding day to the President.

What red-blooded American girl doesn’t dream of turning her wedding day into a fundraising tool for an Epic Narcissist?

Think of it as a sort of financial ius primae noctis.

"Late to the game, but while I agree with him that the end doesn’t justify ..."

Building Bridges of Trust vs. Winning
"I also think netflix is more evil than good, the things they have and support ..."

A reader struggles with scruples about ..."
"I am pretty sure remote cooperation is evil unless with proportionate reasons..."

A reader struggles with scruples about ..."
"Just one nit - the Dickey Amendment (the bit of law that supposedly "forbids" the ..."

Heresy of the Day: Antinomianism

Browse Our Archives