The sort of thing Mike Flynn was born to write about

Study finds people who believe in heaven commit more crimes

It’s a “study”, so you know it’s Science[TM]

Still, some questions arise.

More crimes than…?

“More” means what?

“believing in heaven” means what?

If four atheists such as Lenin, Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot order the deaths of 100 million victims while a hundred subscribers to Richard Dawkins Youtube channel live lives of bourgeois smugness, but 10 members of Rev. Billy Bob’s Trailer Trash Church of Snake Handling knock over 10 Kwiki Marts, does this mean “believers in heaven” commit “more” crimes?

I think the takeaway is that if you belong to a tiny sect of atheistic nihilists, every 100 atheists gets a bonus mass murderer, absolutely free of charge!

I’m an English major, but I think I’m starting to figure out this whole statistics thing–at least as well as the English major who go on to write stories about “studies” that “prove” extremely dodgy propositions.