I went to my neighbor’s house

I went to my neighbor’s house September 17, 2012

Inexplicably to me, my neighbor went and got a hammer and brandished it, threatening to beat my head in with it.  He set fire to the sofa I was sitting on, ululating loudly that he wanted me to leave or his god would destroy me and all I love.

I naturally concluded that we are close friends and that I needed to bring my furniture over, as well as a lot of my extended relations, and move into his house.  He is currently out in the driveway setting fire to my car, as well as calling lots of his friends and sending them to the houses of my relations, to set fire to them.  Oh that silly childlike neighbor of mine and his inexplicable mood swings.  Really we are the best of friends.  I don’t see a reason in the world to ever leave his house.  And I think I know what’s best for both of us.  Some people are saying I should just leave his house, take my family, friends and our stuff and go back to my house.  That’s crazy talk.  An enemy is just a friend who wants to kill me.

Some will say, “We have to stay and fight because this is Al-Quaeda!”  I reply, “If this is nothing but Al-Quaeda, now massing crowds in 20 countries then all that stuff we’ve been hearing for years about how we’ve got ’em on the run and totally decimated their ranks is seriously amiss.”  If, as I think, this is a popular uprising that stretches far beyond the alleged thinned-out ranks of Al Quaeda, then the obvious question is, “How many people in foreign countries have to scream, ‘Get out!’ before we say, ‘It’s your country.  Goodbye.’ and leave.”

We’re 16 trillion in debt.  Time to shrink the Empire.  They don’t want us there.  So why be there?

Meanwhile, the lackeys of Empire simply soldier on in complete denial of reality:

Stupid enough to believe that unjust war, torture, secret kill lists and drone strikes against teenagers would usher in peace and democracy throughout the Middle East?  Basic rule of thumb: when your allies are killing your troops, bring your troops home.  When your friends are threatening your diplomats, they aren’t your friends.  Bring the Empire home.

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