If the Principal Had Been Named Mrs. Trunchbull I Would have Supported This Policy

…if for no other reason than that the operatically horrible Roald Dahlesque tale of this adult tyrant and power-drunk ogre out of Faerie would, I certainly hope, give these children a precious memory they will be able to mine for their future as Dickensian novelists and screenwriters.  Unfortunately, the principal is neither a woman with the physique of a German shotputter, nor is he named “Trunchbull”, nor does he appear to grab little girls by their pigtails and hurl them 50 yards.  Instead he’s some beta male with control issues.  Very disappointing.