One way you attach a huge bullseye to your chest and beg God to smite you

One way you attach a huge bullseye to your chest and beg God to smite you November 20, 2013

is to, like Hawaii Democrat State Rep. Tom Brower, roam the streets looking for homeless people so you can make their lives even more miserable by smashing their stuff.

God, in his mercy, doesn’t typically strike people like this dead, leaving only a greasy spot on the sidewalk. But if you are looking for the sort of thing that might achieve that result, this is definitely a contender.

Rep. Brower, just to jog your memory, here is the judgment you are tempting:

Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of Israel, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof; because they sold the righteous for silver, and the poor for a pair of shoes. – Amos 2:6

Then he will say to those at his left hand, “Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was homeless and you smashed my stuff.”

Two observations:

1. Democrats are the party of the underdog? Riiiiiiight.
2. This guy has served five terms. Hawaii, what the hell is the matter with you?

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  • Jared Clark

    Mark, no offense, but I’m reeeeeeeeeeeeally hoping that someone will come in and say “That’s a satirical site.”

    I like you and everything, I don’t wish for any embarrassing situation upon you. But, my goodness, SOMEONE TELL ME THIS DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN!

    • ivan_the_mad

      It is sadly not satire.

      • Jared Clark


    • Noah Doyle

      It isn’t intentionally satirical. But it’s one of those that’s so tribal/partisan that it can’t help but appear, well, ridiculous.

  • Andy, Bad Person

    Democrats are the party of the underdog? Riiiiiiight.

    Amazingly, the comments on the article are all about how the Republicans are evil and that this guy is really a Republican voted in as a Democrat.

    It’s nice to see their readership focuses on the really appropriate things, like whether or not their tribe is damaged by this, rather than silly things like the weak and vulnerable being stomped on.

    • PalaceGuard

      Thank you. You just saved me a post. (Except this post.)

    • Noah Doyle

      It’s AlterNet. It’s an utterly partisan site.

  • Rebecca Fuentes

    How about the nice part at the end where they will give any homeless person a one-way ticket to fly off the islands? “You’re homeless; we don’t want you here. Let’s export you to California!”

    • MarylandBill

      I believe that stems from a perception in Hawaii that many of the homeless are people who come to Hawaii specifically because the climate in Hawaii is easier to deal with. This is of course besides the fact that I can’t imagine many people planning on spending their last thousand dollars on a ticket to Hawaii.

      • Rebecca Fuentes

        It is probably more comfortable to be homeless in Hawaii in January than in, say, Denver. It’s just such a non-solution. Could the money for that ticket be put to better use to help a homeless individual become not homeless? I’d like to think so.

  • kenofken

    This sucks, but why would it be the least bit shocking or beyond belief? Since at least the mid 1990s, we’ve had an airtight bi-partisan consensus that peoples only inherent worth is their net worth.

  • Niemand

    If god doesn’t wish to strike this person dead, perhaps the voters in his district would consider striking him unemployed.

  • Guest

    I’m not sure the guy is “all there” upstairs. Check out his floor speech in favor of the SSM bill in the legislature:

    I guess the tolerance and acceptance he champions does not include the homeless.

  • RichFader

    There’s a reason “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you” have become simultaneously some of the funniest and scariest words in the English language.