He is, as ever, as surprised as you are to discover what he’s been doing. In related news, Obama awakens with jolt to discover he is president. Claims First Lady put something in his drink.
As for you little people, the Administration explains, “Shut up“.
Besides, the folks spying on you are your friends and neighbors, which is supposed to be soothing and not make you think of Stalin’s USSR or Orwell’s Oceania at all.
So even though the erection of the police/surveillance state has not stopped any terrorism and vastly more people have died from traffic fatalities than from The Terrorists[TM] we must continue to be stampeded into police/surveillance state or Something Awful will happen.
Pay no attention to the state agents who openly talk about murdering an American citizen who brought their activities to light. These are the defenders of justice and they only fantasize about lawless murder when they really need to.
Meanwhile, our God King has the best ethics money can buy looking into things and will certainly not lie to you. After all, he’s a politician!
Now let us, like true Americans, return to celebrating the Nativity of the Bride of the Lord Obama on Earth and renew our pledge to be His Servants: