She made it all by herself!

She made it all by herself! December 10, 2014

“Now that my sweet baby girl has puked directly into my eye, I really feel like I’ve crossed a threshold in parenting.” – Matthew Shea, father of Seraphim the Beauteous

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  • James H, London

    Ah, the joys of babies!

    Not.

  • SteveP

    Matthew Shea: Welcome to fatherhood! The grimace will fade once you’ve given your daughter to her husband.

    • Rob B.

      In that regard, I have a two year old son who’s a good Catholic boy… 🙂

  • ivan_the_mad

    Fatherhood is perilous 😉

  • Rob B.

    Aww, but she’s so cute though!

  • anna lisa

    Yup. Been pee’d poop’d and vomited upon.
    Copiously.
    My husband once had to disrobe down to his boxers on a city street because our baby girl overflowed her diaper from where she was perched on his shoulders–it went all the way down his back and legs. He took it all with calm humor saying, “poor little thing she must have a flu-bug.”
    We still tease her about it, because it wins the all-time supreme prize for grossness.
    The worst thing isn’t all of those misfiring bodily functions. The WORST thing is when they behave like those mishaps, that mountain of changed diapers and those endless sleepless nights *didn’t happen* at all.
    (“Oh m’gawd ur sooooo embaaaaaaaarrassing Moooooooom.”)
    Teenagers don’t have angelic faces either. It’s like a perfect storm.

  • She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

    Yep, the best is when you have the quint-fecta of bodily fluids deposited on you all in one day by one or a combination of your kids. I had one day where I got spit up, actual vomit, poop, pee, and blood on me all in one day. It did take two kids to manage it, but manage it they did. When my husband walked in the door from work that evening, I handed off the baby (who was responsible for three of the fluids) to him, said, “Your turn. I’m done.” and holed up in our bathroom for a nice long shower. Cleaning up your kids’ bodily fluids is one of the special graces given to parents by God…

    Welcome to the Parenthood Club! You’ve passed the initiation rites!