Steve Greydanus tries to reason with Kavanaugh partisans

Steve Greydanus tries to reason with Kavanaugh partisans September 28, 2018

A few questions for defenders:

While some raunchy or risque references in a yearbook entry by themselves may be small beer in the grand scheme of things, if it appears Kavanaugh was willing to lie under oath about his yearbook entry, is he qualified to sit on the Supreme Court?

Please, friends, use your critical thinking skills.

1. Kavanaugh admits he drank quite a bit in high school and college. He further admits that his yearbook reference to “Beach Week Ralph Club” was a reference to vomiting.

However, he claims this merely meant only that he had a weak stomach. So…his weak stomach acted up particularly during “Beach Week”? And there were other such people (a “club”)? All with weak stomachs, all acting up during “Beach Week”?

2. No fewer than three of the slang or in-joke phrases in Kavanaugh’s yearbook entry — “boofing,” “Devil’s Triangle” and “FFFFFFF” (the 7 F’s) — correspond to sexual or crude slang terms, the definitions of which are discussed in many news stories and which appear as such in Urban Dictionary.

Kavanaugh claims that all three terms had innocent meanings in his circle(s). That seems not intrinsically implausible concerning “Devil’s Triangle,” but “boofing” and the 7 F’s all together seems … an implausible convergence of coincidences, especially given the weaknesses of Kavanaugh’s interpretations of the latter two. To wit:

2a. He claims that the word “boofed” meant passing gas rather than (as seems more probable to me) a certain sex act. (You can Google news stories or Urban Dictionary for reasons why the term would have this meaning and is sometimes used this way.)

The complete yearbook phrase credits Kavanaugh as “Judge — Have You Boofed Yet?” Which is a more likely mock-judged high-school event: “Have you passed gas yet?” or “Have you engaged in a certain sex act yet?”

Note the “Yet.” This isn’t like being at a party where an unpleasant odor raises the question “Who cut the cheese?” The question is “Have You Boofed *Yet*?” How does that make sense if the reference is flatulence?

2b. He claims that the 7 F’s in “I Survived the FFFFFFFourth of July” were a reference to a friend who stuttered when he said the “F” word rather than (as seems more probable to me) a reference to what Urban Dictionary calls “the 7 F’s” (again, news stories will explain).

First of all, this doesn’t explain the “I survived“ business, which suggests a macho ordeal.

Second, who represents stuttering with all caps? “Fffffourth of July” I could maybe believe, but “FFFFFFFourth” looks like an acrostic — an acrostic that just happens to exist.

2c. Finally, “Devil’s Triangle.” Is it possible that in Kavanaugh’s circles it meant a drinking game, as Kavanaugh has alleged, and not the sex act it’s otherwise known as? Sure, why not? This particular example seems not inherently improbable. But the converge of all three, like I said, seems a bit much.

3. He admits that Renate was a Catholic schoolgirl he and his friends knew in those days, but claims that “Renate Alumnius [sic]” meant they were only friends of Renate.

“Alumnus” means “graduate from” (or “former student at”). It’s a term that connotes achievement. What would it mean for a Catholic high-school boy to “achieve” with a high-school Catholic girl?

Kavanaugh and his friends had lots of friends. Where does the term “alumn(i)us” come in in connection with this one friend?

At the end of the day, Ford’s highly credible testimony promised only three things to her for telling the truth: death threats, doxxing, and chaos.  As my friend Jason Stellman remarks:

Gotta hand it to the Democrats. To think that they had the political deviousness and foresight to have Dr. Ford lie to her husband and therapist five years ago about a then-unknown judge trying to rape her, knowing that he would later be nominated for a SCOTUS seat by another sexual predator slash reality TV star who would eventually become president? Brilliant!

This, coupled with other accusers coming forward would make it unlikely that somebody applying for Dairy Queen would get the job.  But in the world of rich white male privilege where you rape a girl and get no time at all if you are the grandson of a GOP governor or get the “promising swimmer” three months if you are Brock Turner, you can likewise turn in an angry, petulant, freak out performance of rage and tears after Ford’s measured performance and still expect that you have a fundamental human right to a SCOTUS seat for the rest of your life.

And the biggest, loudest demographic insisting he be confirmed, even if he is guilty of attempted rape?  Good White Christians, of course.  Because Christianism is a diabolical fertility cult of rape apologetics–and apologetics for any other evil the GOP wills to defend in the will to power.  The use of the unborn as human shields for that evil will to power is what the “prolife” Christianist cult is now committed to body and soul.

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