Behold! A blogger of Simcha Fisher’s calibre!

Garden Goat Quotes offers snappy answers to rude and prissy sniffers who want you to know they disapprove of your large family.

Q: “Are they all yours?” (This question is almost always posed right in front of my collective offspring) With the exception of discerning whether the entire faithful assembled are not composed of let’s say “extra” kids (friends of my children along for the ride) this is a most rude and insensitive question.

Answer:
1.“Well let me see…last I checked they were”
2.“Nah, not all of them…I am a child collector”
3.“Only the beautiful ones”
4.“Why? …Is there one you would like?”
5.“Yes…and I have even MORE at home”
6.“None are mine these kids just keep following me around.”
7.“I tell my husband that they are all ours”

Only to be outdone by the next question ….

TWO

Q: “Were all these kids planned or were some accidents?” No, really? First of all how dare you ask the question, next what would you think the children think hearing this? … Can you imagine being one of the children hearing this??

Answer:
1.“Nope, every one of them is an accident!”
2.“Planned by whom?”
3.“Only the beautiful ones!”
4.“Why? …Is there one you would like to order?”

THREE

Q: “Is this one your last?” Love this question, I have no clue who this stranger is but in the matter of a mere moment they have decided that I should be sharing information with them that my husband and I have not even discussed yet as a couple.

Answer:
1.“I never call a child [my last]… meet my youngest”
2.“Yep we are going to keep going till we get an ugly one!”
3.“Can’t stop now we are part of a government research project we can only stop when the project is complete.”
4.“Nah! My husband and I are very intelligent people, and believe we should pass on these great genes as much as we can.”
5.“Before we were married we planned on having 2, but I didn’t know that my
husband couldn’t count!”
6.“Well, we have room in our van for 1 more. LOL!!!!!”

FOUR

Q: “Do you know what causes it?” This question blows me away. I am in a public place; a stranger thinks that they can ask me this presumably because NO ONE would willingly have this number of kids, therefore ignorance of the basic must be the cause.

Answer:
1.“Haven’t a clue…maybe you could visit my home later when the kids are in bed and explain it to me.”
2.“Yes, I do…don’t you?”
3.“Well, we THOUGHT we did, but if that were the case, we’d have thousands of them by now.”
4.“Yes, and it is something I am very good at … (!!) proud of it!”

St. Charles Darwin (pbuh) is so often worshipped by the very people who are bent on breeding themselves out of existence as burnt offering to Gaia. Me: I hope our kids have at least four like we did. My only regret is that we didn’t have more. If babies are God’s way of saying the world should go on, contraception is man’s way of saying it should end. Our contraceptive culture will, sooner rather than later, give way to those who regard fertility as a gift. And as this blogger shows, that includes women as well as all those awful oppressive males.