I’ve *played* a fictional character before…

I’ve *played* a fictional character before… 2014-12-31T15:37:56-07:00

and I’ve created fictional characters before.

But I’ve never *been* a fictional character before:

Dear Mr. Shea,
Could you tell me if you had a beard in 2007–about Octoberish….. I am
writing you into a novel (I have written you before and you gave me
permission) but I need to describe you in 2007…

Oh, have you ever been to Rome? If so, when? any interesting details I could
include….?

To the best of my knowledge, I had a full manly beard with golden, tousled hair that reminded many women of a young, virile Robert Kennedy. As I passed, my natural musk often had the curious effect of drawing their longing eye involuntarily, filling them with the sense that their ticking biological clock was about to ring while causing men to sense that a primal competitor had entered the arena. It was something I simply had to live with and, Lord knows, not something I wanted since there raged in my breast a fierce war between the saint and the sinner–a war only made more difficult by my Adonis-like face washed smooth for decades in clean Washington rain, my eyes set like sapphires adorning either side of a perfectly proportioned nose, and my pouting lips and square, jutting jaw. I knew the effect I had on the weak and I spent countless hours in holy, reverent prayer where I successfully mastered my passions and lived a life of unparalleled holiness enforced by the strict disciplines of exercise which had left me with what the young kids at the gym called “ripped abs”. I was too bookish and in tune with God to quite know what that meant (my most cherished inscription was “Thanks, Mark! I learned so much! Your admirer, Johannes Paulus II” on my cherished dog-eared copy of By What Authority?) but I figured it was probably a compliment based on their furtive admiring glances as I oiled my biceps and, with each flex, felt the bundled muscles gliding beneath my skin coil and uncoil like snakes in a mystic dance of erotic passion.

All I knew was, it was October 2007–and I had a book to finish editing.

Or… you might want to just make something up and embellish the facts.


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