More Reader Awesomeness

Periodically, I get readers who are frustrated because they cannot write “CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION!”, but who still long to land a punch in profound Christian charity. So they will write to inform me of my shocking evilness/tedious boringness/sundry badness and do their best to either twist the knife or, better still tell me they are not angry really but just… sad over my degeneration. Usually what that means is “You expressed an opinion about X which hurt my feelings because I really like/dislike X, unlike those thousand other times when you expressed an opinion about Y I agreed with that offended Those Other People, who I don’t care much about. You have thereby violated the unspoken contract which states that your blog exists to affirm my social/cultural/political tribal alliances while critiquing only those of my enemies in the light of the Tradition.”

Upshot: they are no longer going to be reading me and they want to make sure I know it. I’ve gotten such notes many times, often from the same person over the years. Other times I’ll get notes from people informing me (again and again) that they are “still” ignoring me. The notion at that back of such things is that I’ve got some device by which I keep track of whether so and so is still reading my blog.

But, of course, the reality is that I haven’t the faintest idea who reads my blog (and I’m always amazed each day that *anybody* reads my blog). So when somebody decides to ignore me, they have to rather ostentatiously announce it or no punch is landed. The curious phenomenon of the “I’m Ignoring You Reader” while it always stings a bit (who likes a virtual slap in the face?) does have a bright side: it inspires other readers to High Poesy:

There’s a sad sort of whining in the posts on the blog
And the mail in the inbox too
For Mark has upset some people here with his words
Their comments seem to whine, “Boo-hoo”
(Boo-hoo, boo-hoo)

Indignantly they tell him
As if they could compel him
To change his mind
Won’t do!

So long, farewell, to those who hate Mark Shea
If he’s so bad, why come back every day?

So long, farewell, for here he is the boss
Don’t fear for Mark, he will survive the loss

So long, farewell, keep beans out of your noses
He won’t stop you with threats of rubber hoses

So long, if you’ve some better place to be
Don’t let the door hit you in the ASCII

Goodbye!

Clearly, the Julie Andrews Inspired Mark Shea Evilness Diagnostic Generator is having a beneficial effect, leading to an outpouring of the Muse on Ipsitilla and goodness know what next. We can only hope that this Renaissance can continue with more creative genius inspired by my perverse loathing of all that is good and decent.