The Onion Always Comes Through

Best piece on Media’s Obama Worship Ever!

In other news, Henry Karlson and Morning’s Minion expressed disappointment with Obama’s double homicide and ritual dismemberment of his victims, but reserved their real ire for simplistic Calvinistic Catholics who fail to appreciate the positive side of this cold-blooded crime and who reduce a complex, nuanced, full-orbed approach to Catholic social teaching to simplistic slogans like “Obama shot them right between the eyes while they begged for mercy and then cut up their bodies and put them in the trunk of his car.” Asked to comment on Obama’s gangland-style slaughter of an innocent couple in their quiet suburban home, Minion replied, “I know you are, but what am I?” while Karlson sighed, “Yeah, yeah. It always comes back to Murder. Whatever. Yawn!”