Stress-Proofing Your Marriage: The Curse of Being Driven

How many people do you know who work and work and work to the point that they are miserable, their spouse is miserable, their kids feel abandoned, and everyone is completely stressed?

And how many of those people justify the stress because they believe it’s only temporary? They tell themselves, “Someday, we’ll make enough money and we’ll finally be happy.”

People today are driven to succeed. What we don’t often realize is that there are two curses of the driven life. The first is not getting what you want. You live your whole life for something that never arrives.

The second curse of the driven life is actually getting what you want and realizing it’s not what you hoped it would be. A new car, a new house, a new job, all the accolades and accomplishments you thought would make it all worthwhile…but you wake up the next morning and your life is just as empty as before.

That’s the trouble with being so driven that the important things in your life suffer: the supposed payoff usually isn’t worth it. The only way that we can really focus on the important things—God, our family, and key relationships—is to put our faith in God. To believe that He will take care of us when we slow down long enough to pay attention to Him and our family.

Hebrews 11:6 says this: “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”

The key word is “diligently.” Being a financial provider for your family—whether the husband or wife takes that role—is a very good thing. But there is a fine line between diligence and driven-ness.

Diligence does what it does very well, but it knows when to stop. Driven-ness cannot stop. That’s the difference. It takes faith to stop, rest, and prioritize God and family. That ability is a great example of faith and one that God rewards greatly.

In Scripture, we are commanded to stop one day out of seven. It’s called the Sabbath. God gave us the Sabbath because He knew how important it was to rest. He didn’t create us to constantly go and constantly do and constantly work.

He created us to love and to serve, and those are things that are difficult to do when we’re overwhelmed by life’s stresses. It’s hard for us to pay attention to the people around us. It’s hard to pay attention to our spouse or our kids.

Marriages that fail are often marriages that are torn apart by driven men and women who become overwhelmed by stress. Cracks develop in the foundations of their marriages, and often they are so driven they can’t stop to repair the cracks.

How often do you stop and rest? The answer may indicate how much faith do you have? Do you have enough faith to let God take care of you when you slow down?