A Wife’s Expectations in Marriage

When we get married, we enter a lifelong union with lots of different expectations for our husbands. Quite often, we expect them to approach household duties and marital conversations similarly to how our own father figures did when we were growing up. If our dad took out the trash, we expect our husbands to do the same. If he came home from a long day at work and plopped on the couch to watch games on the television and relax a bit, we don’t see anything wrong with our husbands responding in the same way at the end of the day. This is all fine and good if both the husband and wife were raised exactly the same way. But the truth is every husband and wife come into the marriage from different backgrounds. Therefore, they each have very different expectations as to how a husband and wife are supposed to act and what role they each play in the home. These differences can cause a lot of fights when we aren’t willing to talk about them and stick in our heels trying to fight for our own way. Our relationships shouldn’t look just like our parents’ because we aren’t our parents. We are two unique individuals brought together by God for a specific purpose, and He gives us a lot of leeway when it comes to what specific household tasks each of us should take on. However, there are more important expectations that wives have for their husbands that go deeper than household tasks. These expectations stem from a wife’s specific needs that only her husband can uniquely fulfill. When a husband strives to meet and even exceed these expectations, his wife will feel loved and his marriage will thrive.

Here are 7 important things that a wife expects (and needs) from her husband (in no particular order):

1. A wife needs her husband to stand by her side, protect her, and honor her through thick and thin.

Proverbs 17:17a

A friend is always loyal…

As spouses, we should be the ones to come to one another’s defense the fastest.  We need to protect their reputation by watching how we talk about them.  We know our spouse better than anyone else…the good AND the bad.  Husband, promote the good you see in her and don’t tear her down in public or on social media to let everyone know her shortcomings.  Be the most loyal person she has in her life.

2. A wife needs her husband to share his heart and be her best listener.

Proverbs 27:9 9

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

We need to be open and intimate in our conversations with our spouse.  Let’s give them our eyes and ears; no mindless nods and empty “yes, dear”s.  Husbands, your wife needs you to put your cell phone, remote, laptop, and other devices down and actually engage in fruitful conversations with her.  This will increase your friendship and greatly improve your marriage.

3. A wife needs her husband to ALWAYS be honest and transparent with her in the most loving way possible.

Proverbs 27:6

Wounds from a friend can be trusted,

but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Honesty and transparency are not only essential to a strong marriage, but they are also the foundation of a thriving friendship. As spouses, we should always be truthful with one another but always share the truth in the most loving way possible. When we do this, we will remain close and connected.