When the Law of Possession is Violated

In the Gospels, when people indicated that they wanted a relationship with Jesus, he gave them a serious warning: “…any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:33)

Jesus isn’t saying that we must get rid of everything before beginning a relationship with Him. What He’s saying is that we must submit everything we have to His authority, or we cannot truly follow Him.

If you refuse to submit something to him, you are implying that it is more important to you than Christ—whether you realize it or not.

Jesus won’t compete with our idols, and on a different level, neither can our marriage. When there is something we won’t share with our spouse, we are telling him or her that they are not as important to us as that thing. We are also implying that we don’t trust them enough to share it.

But according to the Law of Possession as stated in Genesis 2:24 (“they shall be one flesh”), God’s plan for marriage requires that everything be shared. Everything that used to fall under an individual’s control should be transferred inside the union. Otherwise, problems result.

One of the most flagrant violations of this law today is the frequent use of prenuptial agreements. This is a legal document signed before marriage to prohibit one spouse’s access to the other spouse’s wealth.

To put it bluntly, I think a “prenup” is a death certificate for a marriage. Why do I feel this way? Because it indicates, from the beginning, that the person initiating the agreement doesn’t trust his or her spouse enough to give up everything for the sake of the marriage—including personal wealth.

Can a marriage survive a prenuptial agreement? Possibly, because all things are possible with God. But it’s a devastating way to begin a relationship.

Another common violation of God’s plan is when one spouse won’t accept something the other person brings into the relationship—like family. Unless it is a sin or something illegal, you must accept ownership of everything in your spouse’s life, including your in-laws.

If you don’t, you are turning the Law of Possession into a kind of selective possession. Selective possession leads to hurt, mistrust, and a loss of intimacy.

Good, bad, or indifferent, both spouses must take responsibility for everything in the marriage, from parenting to finances, from sexuality to in-laws, from career goals and education to relationships.

It’s very simple. Unless you submit everything to God’s authority, you will struggle in your walk with Christ. In the same way, unless you submit everything to the mutual control of a healthy marriage, you will struggle in that relationship.

When you enter into marriage, you must submit all aspects of life, unconditionally, to your spouse. And you must accept, unconditionally, what your spouse brings into the marriage.

This is God’s plan for marriage, and unless the Law of Possession is followed, a husband and wife will never truly be “one flesh.”