We’ve been discussing how healthy marriages must apply Genesis 2:24—“And they shall become one flesh”—to all aspects of life. A healthy marriage, according to God’s Law of Possession, requires a true union.
Over the last few weeks we’ve discussed what happens when this law is violated. But what about the positive side? What happens when two people give themselves completely to the relationship?
Unity is what happens. Following God’s plan creates deep intimacy between a husband and wife. God knew what He what He was doing when He set forth this law.
Intimacy isn’t built solely on great sex or deep conversations. It is created when two people so intertwine their lives with one another that it’s hard to tell where one life ends and the other begins. The husband and wife share everything and each other…totally.
This type of intimacy can’t occur when one spouse insists on independence and personal rights, because intimacy flows from a selfless, giving, sacrificial heart—one that is completely open and devoted to the object of its affection.
In today’s society, almost everyone longs for such intimacy, but they are too selfish to pay the price. Are you? Ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I completely surrendered to my mate?
- Is there something I am holding back?
If you are holding something back, repent to God and to your spouse and make it right. Don’t ask your spouse to accept the sin in your life. Grace and understanding are vital to a marriage, but sin is deadly. You cannot let it continue. Get rid of it.
Because that is what will happen if you let sin and selfishness block your path to true intimacy. You must give it up in order to find an intimate relationship with God, or with your spouse.
I have learned that these things are absolutely worth the sacrifice. Trust me. I’ve experienced it in my own marriage.
Remember, God designed marriage to be a complete sharing of life between two people. Nothing can surpass this lifelong bond except the eternal bond we have with our Creator. To achieve it, we must lay down our life to the one we are covenanted with in marriage.
Is that a high price? Of course. But compare it to the alternative. Loneliness and disillusionment always accompany selfishness and personal protection. Always.
Jesus said it best: “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it” (Matt. 16:25).
If you are only interested in “looking out for Number One,” you will never enjoy the blessings of a rich, rewarding marriage. Give it all to God and to your spouse. That’s God’s plan for a healthy marriage, and it works.