The Immoral Husband, Part 1

When it comes to examples of husbands behaving badly, we need look no further than Israel’s King David.

He had many positive character traits and performed great exploits in God’s name, but he made a terrible mistake that brought destruction to his family and the entire nation of Israel. He brought immorality into his marriage.

It’s one of the most famous stories in the Bible. As told in 2 Samuel 11:1–3, David was walking around the palace roof one spring evening, gazing at the city of Jerusalem. That’s when he noticed a woman bathing on a nearby rooftop.

Rather than turning to walk away, David continued to study her nude body. He blazed with desire for her. He learned she was married to Uriah the Hittite, but that didn’t keep him from sending his servants after her.

David took Bathsheba and fulfilled his desire for her. Afterward, David went on about his business of being king and (presumably) tried to forget his indiscretion.

But Bathsheba became pregnant. Rather than facing the problem honestly, David compounded his sin. It’s a long and complicated story, but in the end, David had Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, killed in battle. Then he married her.

David is certainly not the only husband who has struggled with immorality, adultery, and lust. Many men today—probably more than anyone realizes—are ensnared by this sin.

For the last decade, pornography has been one of the fastest growing industries in the world. No longer relegated to red-light districts and strip clubs, it’s now available online with a few clicks of the mouse.

I counsel men who struggle with online pornography more than almost any other issue, and pornography can easily become a gateway into other marriage-destroying sins like adultery.

One of the most serious cases of immorality I’ve ever encountered involved a man addicted to pornography. He started with popular men’s magazines, which he only considered to be “light porn” or even “art.” He explained to his wife that the photos turned him on and made him a better lover. She didn’t like it, but she allowed it.

Five years later, he wasn’t just addicted to porn, but was hiring prostitutes to have sex with him and his wife. Finally, his wife had enough and came in for counseling.

Sin can never be satisfied. The more you get, the more you want. The more you indulge, the more you need to get the slightest satisfaction. So you go farther and father, sinking deeper into sin until finally, you’re faced with two choices: quit, or be dominated completely by whatever sin controls you.

I’ve counseled many men and women over the years who battle immorality in their marriages. In most cases, the man is the source of it. He may be having an affair, watching adult movies on the road, or succumbing to some other sexual sin. In doing so, the man is bringing destruction into his home.

Don’t let sexual sin get its foot into the door of your marriage. Once it does, this unwelcome intruder becomes more and more powerful—to the detriment of your marriage. David could have saved himself much trouble had he simply averted his eyes the first time he glimpsed Bathsheba.

But he took a second look, and that’s all sin needed. Stay tuned as we discuss some of the things that contribute to the making of an immoral man.