One of the most destructive types of husbands is an immoral one. When immorality is brought into a marriage—whether by a biblical figure like King David or a contemporary husband—that relationship is in trouble.
As a husband, a great way to begin to combat this sin is to understand the things that drive men toward pornography and immorality.
One of the strongest influences is childhood rejection, especially by a boy’s parents. When a growing boy is deprived of wholesome physical affection and attention, it creates a greater appetite for physical contact than in other boys.
This need for human touch becomes a need for sex. If left unchecked, this need expresses itself in unhealthy lust, which is a gateway toward porn, infidelity, and other debased behavior.
The answer to rejection is a process of forgiveness, healing, and identification of the root of sexual immorality, which must be dealt with in a biblical manner.
A second, related influence is visual enticement. Every husband and wife will agree that men are much more visually stimulated than women. That’s why the entire entertainment and advertising media have relentlessly targeted this male attribute, and that’s why today’s world is full of sexual temptations for men.
The answer to this problem starts with honesty. Men must admit to being tempted visually. After honesty comes restraint. Men must remove temptation by avoiding impure television programs, movies, magazines, websites, and hotels that offer adult videos.
A third root cause of immorality is mental bondage. When a man sees an erotic image, a chemical called epinephrine floods his brain and locks in the image permanently. That’s why some men can remember certain sexually stimulating photos or movies they saw years ago.
God designed men this way for the purpose of helping them become excited by their wives, but Satan twists this natural creation, filling men’s minds with tempting images like a museum of perversion.
A man can never overcome lust until he has won the battle for his mind. Not only must men overcome the sinful images already there, but must also battle unclean thoughts as they try to enter their minds in the first place.
Cold showers or self abuse aren’t the answer. The only answer is God’s Word. You must change the way you think or you will never change the way you act. Read the Bible. Memorize Scripture. Fill your mind with the Word of God.
A final influence, of course, is sin and deception. Satan works overtime to convince us that sin will enhance our lives. That’s the lie King David believed with Bathsheba. If you accept the same lie, you’ll have to swallow the same bitter pill of reality that he swallowed.
The only answer to Satan’s lies is to refute them with the truth of the Word of God. The greatest sexual fulfillment for any man is a pure, monogamous relationship with his wife. Period.
Sexual immorality has no place in a healthy marriage.