I started working in a hardware store when I was nineteen years old. One day saw an item on an order sheet described as a “male fitting.” I had no idea what this meant, so I asked my boss about it. He grinned and took me to the back room. He pulled out a plumbing part and said “This is a male fitting.” Then he pulled out another part. “This is a female fitting.” Then he put the two parts... Read more
There is nothing that makes a woman feel more secure than a selfless, sacrificial male. There is nothing that makes a woman feel more insecure than a selfish, detached male. I’ve found that men tend to feel secure in themselves and are less sensitive to the world around them. (That’s why we refuse to ask for directions, among other things.) On the other hand, women are more sensitive to the world around them, and as a result, have less internal... Read more
My wife Ashley and I love encouraging married couples from all over the world through our ministry at MarriageToday and the XO Marriage Conferences. We love hearing stories of good news when a couple gets engaged or overcomes a hardship in their marriage, but we also hear many stories of heartbreak from couples facing tragedy like discovering evidence of an affair. Just this morning, I opened my inbox and another familiar message came through. It was from a husband who... Read more
The word “submission” carries a lot of negative assumptions with it in this day and age. Over the years it’s been so twisted and misused that many Christian married couples are avoiding the subject all together. Wives often find submission especially cringey because they view it as a means for their husbands—and men in general—to hold them down and control them. This perception is usually a result of their own life experiences from childhood to the present. Regardless of our... Read more
Proverbs 18:21 says Death and life are in the power of the tongue. That’s an astounding statement. The words we say can bring life or bring death. In other words, God can use the way you speak to create a great life, a great marriage, and a great family. But the devil wants to use your tongue to destroy those things. All words are consequential. Good words bring good results and bad words bring bad results. There are no neutral... Read more
I’ll never forget the young couple I counseled several years ago. They were on the verge of splitting up, and sex was the crux of their problems. The young wife was put out by her husband’s regular need for sex. I asked him about it, and heard a normal young man expressing his desire for sex with his wife—along with the rejection and shame he felt from her every time she refused it. Then I listened to the wife tell... Read more
Sorry…it’s just not a priority for me right now. That guy really needs to get his priorities straight! Priorities. We talk about them a lot, but do we really understand them? More importantly, does the way we live our lives reflect the things we say are our priorities? Our priorities are our values. The person who gives priority to God values God. The person who gives something priority above God values that thing more highly than God. It is that... Read more
“Those who marry will face many troubles in this life.” (1 Corinthians 7:28) Leave it to the Apostle Paul to speak hard truths. He’s correct. Marriage can be very difficult. Every month at MarriageToday, we receive letters from couples who are struggling. While the details vary, the story they tell is often the same. It’s a story about trying to undo the damage that has been done. It’s about the wounds caused by the marriage-killers rampant in our society: infidelity,... Read more
This is something all wives need to know: the number-one need of a man is honor. Ephesians 5:22, when it says, “Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord,” and the way a wife can serve her husband in this way is to honor him. First, though, I want to clear up a popular misconception. Often people read Ephesians 5:22 and get the idea that it’s saying men are superior to women. That’s not the case. The verse right... Read more
Summertime is here! It’s one of our favorite times of year. The kids have sticky faces with the remnants of ice cream and popsicles, we’re sleeping in, getting tans and escaping to air conditioning when the Texas heat gets to be too much! Summer is a prime time to connect with your family and to create some special dates with your spouse. We’ve always been huge advocates for a consistent date night (or date day) because we believe there’s no... Read more
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