How Cub Scouts is making me a better dad

Progressive Christians aren’t supposed to like the Boy Scouts, especially not the Scouts’ religious program “God and Country.” When we see those two words together, it evokes the dangerous idolatry of Christian nationalism. When the original Christians were asked to offer sacrifices to a statue of the Roman emperor, they refused and were put to death. I wonder what they would think about putting their hands over their hearts and pledging allegiance to a flag. We may say the pledge is not religious, but how many Romans would have said that sacrificing to Caesar wasn’t actually worshiping him per se?

In any case, there are things about “God and Country” and the way that Scouts mix religion and patriotism that are icky to me, but the “God and Country” program has been instrumental in forcing me to face my spiritual responsibility as a dad.

“On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country…” It’s the opening line of the Scout Oath. When I was a Scout, we had to memorize the oath as part of the transition from Cub Scouts into Boy Scouts in 5th grade. Now the Scouts have to memorize it when they start out as Tiger Cubs in 1st grade as my younger son’s zealous den leader keeps reminding us over email.

I don’t like the word “duty.” It feels too much like works-righteousness. I prefer it when our deeds are the natural, organic out-flowing of what God’s grace has inspired us to do.

Except the problem with that is that God’s grace hasn’t organically inspired me to make time for my sons. It’s often been noted that the reason that pastor’s kids tend to be a mess is because their parents wear themselves out doing ministry and don’t have time for their kids. I’ve felt increasingly guilty about the way I’ve been neglecting my sons because I give everything I have to the college kids I’m working with at Tulane and Loyola.

So I’ve tried to change my ways, grumbling every step of the way. One of the things that has helped whip me into shape are the requirements that my two sons have for going through their respective Webelos and Tiger Cub processes. Each of them have a set of requirements for “God and Country” (actually I think it’s called “God and Family” for Tiger Cubs). One of the requirements is to find something to do for 30 days to “perform your duty to God.” I asked my older son Matthew what he wanted to do, and he said let’s read through the book of John.

One of the things I’ve been really self-conscious about is my sons’ lack of Biblical literacy. Growing up in the Baptist church, I had dozens of Bible verses memorized by the time I was my older son’s age. In any case, now we’re reading the Bible together at dinnertime. We’re not able to do it every day, but we’ve read through about the first 20 verses of John 1 so far. And each of my sons has memorized three verses.

John 1:5: The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it. When I asked my older son what he thought this meant, he said it’s kind of like when Darth Vader leaves the dark side and comes back to the light side at the very end of Episode VI. We talked about the way that light and darkness are metaphors for good and evil, because evil likes to hide itself in the dark. We said that similarly warmth and cold can be metaphors for good and evil, because when we treat people with love, we call it being “warm” while treating people hatefully is being “cold.”

John 1:12: To all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God. When we memorized this verse, we talked about what it means to become children of God. Just like each of my boys looks a little like me and a little like their mother, when they become children of God, their character starts to look like God. I asked them what they thought God “looks” like, and they basically went through the list of the fruits of the spirit in their own words. We talked about the way that as Christians, we need to be “born” again not in the same way we come out of our mommy’s tummies but in a spiritual sense.

John 1:18: No one has ever seen God. It is God the only Son, who is close to the Father’s heart, who has made him known. This verse gave us an opportunity to talk about the Trinity. Like most kids growing up in the church, my sons have gotten used to equating “God” with the Father. So I told them that “God” is actually the word for a team of people, kind of like the Avengers, except that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit basically share the same mind (which might be a heresy, I can’t remember). In any case, they had a ton of questions that I tried to answer the best I could about how three people could be God at the same time. I’m sure I botched some things but at least they know that God is somehow three persons at the same time now.

Anyway, I’m glad that the Cub Scouts gave me some spiritual “duties” to fulfill in relationship with my sons,though I probably should have been doing them already. I look forward to continuing to grow as a father and reading the Bible together with my sons.