My Best Instead

There’s no point in lying, life hasn’t been easy lately. My husband is working a lot with the ambulance company and taking classes online in pursuit of a master’s degree. We are still unpacking, painting and organizing our new house. Our kids (deep breath), oh our kids. The girls are actually doing great. They are making new friends on our new block and enjoying spending their days outside in the beautiful sunshine. But our boys, or more specifically, our youngest has been giving us a run for our money. His mischief-o-meter is turned up to eleven. Turns out keeping a three-year-old still so he can heal from a concussion is a full-time job. Not to mention his normal shenanigans. Tonight, I got up from the dinner table to find he had painted our minivan. Yes, painted. He is also transitioning from daily naps to not napping at all, and the result is pure exhaustion by six in the evening (for both of us). Don’t forget potty training that is always my favorite part of motherhood (I joke, I joke). And then there’s my health, which hasn’t been great. Migraines and nausea have come back without warning or explanation.

This is not the summer I had planned. I was planning on getting a ton done; organizing our house and making it picture perfect. But that isn’t what God seems to have planned. So, I’m just trying to do my best instead. I’m keeping up with the kids as I am able and the housework with what energy I have left over. It is ok. It is even good, even in the midst of difficulty.

God doesn’t plan a life of ease for His people. He never has, even from before the fall. He loves us too much to let us ride on His coat tails. He wants us to be strong, and strength requires training. He loves me, and I see that in my illness. He loves me, and I see that in my son’s crazy toddler stage that makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. He loves me — everything is already well with my soul as long as I keep my eyes on Christ. What I need to do is continue digging into His Word and reminding myself of His promises. This season of difficulty is going to be something I can look back on one day and be thankful for. So I’m trying to learn how to be thankful now, even when I can’t see the finish line. I know He is teaching me this because He is good and because He loves me.