Birthing Cliques

I know it is in style to fight for our “right” to have our birth — our way — right away — all the way and at a cost that requires no real sacrifice on our part and I get that preferences are nice…I enjoy them myself…but then I read stories about prisoners who labor with their feet in cuffs. I talk to women who know what it is like to give birth to a still-born child or in a 3rd world country where they labor and deliver in a filthy public room surrounded by people who only sort of speak a language they understand. I see stories about women whose newborns are torn for their arms or worse: babies delivered before their mother’s eyes in pieces because someone lied to her about what abortion really is. I read about all those husbands who were left widowers because we did not have the technology at the time to save their wife and baby (pre-cesarian era and all that). I have personal friends who cannot make their own babies even though they would do nearly anything to be able too regardless of the financial strain…and it makes me realize how foolish all the fuss is.

We whine about having monitors on our belly, the lights being too bright, people poking us with needles, having limited birthing position options or not being able to pick which professional baby deliverer (who has gone to school and into much debt because of how much he or she loves bringing healthy babies into the world safely no less!)  is on call when we happen to go into labor.  But the truth is, birth has never been safer then it is now and our country is relatively young in its healthcare experience. We are still learning how to do things well both in the home AND at the hospital. We can whine all we want but it won’t legitimize our discontent and idolatry. It won’t erase our sin.

One location is not exclusively better than the other. What is best for each individual family all depends on our individual situations. Can we please stop pretending like where you bring a life into the world is some kind of club that requires a lifetime membership? It isn’t a conflict and it isn’t a war unless *you* make it one. We are sisters in Christ. We are family and we are required to love one another….especially when it isn’t easy. And yes, this applies to formula vs breast-feeding too!

And as a note to dads, get involved with these decisions! This isn’t woman stuff…this is family stuff. Don’t make your wife make all these decisions alone. By defaulting to her, you are leaving her vulnerable. Educate yourself. Research birth methodology together. Come to a decision together. Support her. Help her. Pray for her. Be her advocate. This is big stuff. Don’t make her carry that weight alone.