It isn’t a celebration unless we eat biryani, and that our family did – in two different continents. I woke yesterday morning to the sound of bleating goats in the front yard. Normally it would’ve been the sing-song sounds of Lil D roaming the house, as he gets up pretty much as early on the weekend as he does on the weekday. But he is not here with me. He is far, far away, like a line out of a... Read more
I finally broke at 1:02 a.m. this morning – July 26, on the 17th fast of Ramadan the day before our big trip. The deluge began with this text to one of my best friends: “I am so sad to leave Lil D. Eff autism. Not fasting right now – I can say that, right?” To which my friend replied, “I’ve been waiting for this text …” And I answered, “Eff eff eff eff eff autism. He should be coming... Read more
If you scroll social media, read the plethora of Ramadan pieces out there or even spend time talking with fellow fasting Muslims, the majority of what you hear about the fasting experience is positive – yes, it’s hard, but Alhumdullilah (thanks be to God), it is going well. You’ll hear jokes for sure about the difficulties of getting up for suhoor (the pre-dawn, pre-fasting) meal or the mundane difficulties of fasting. (Ramadan breath anyone?) We Muslims also share a lot... Read more
In no way is he part of any of our Ramadan rituals. He does not get up for suhoor, the pre-dawn, pre-fast meal, because he is not obligated to fast nor can he tolerate fasting. And, to disrupt his sleep so that he could just join us at that early part of the morning would be asking for major trouble. He does not read the Quran (But we read it to him. He is nonverbal and can’t read English, let... Read more
I’m taking off my mom/autism/Muslim-American journalist hat right now and putting on my Patheos Muslim Channel Managing Editor hat to announce a Ramadan project we’re doing at our channel which, I hope, will help forge new and interesting interfaith learning sessions, bring the concept of fasting in Ramadan and all it means to a wider audience and help Muslims themselves reconnect with the beauty of this month. We are embarking on a Fasting Project (for the lack of a better... Read more
How do the siblings of individuals with autism cope with the spectrum disorder’s grip on their lives? When so much of a family’s life revolves around the child with ASD, how do siblings feel about it all — the questions from friends, having to leave parties early and a thousand other things? How do you handle going to the mosque when half of your family never comes because your brother cannot handle it and the community isn’t the most welcoming?... Read more
I don’t want to be that person. I really don’t. But I find myself being that person despite my best intentions. I don’t want to be that person who attends a big party having left her eldest son at home (a boy who, because of his intense autism, cannot handle the lateness of the evening, the menu, amount of people and general loud and crowded party atmosphere) and has trouble making small talk because all she thinks is, Really? We’re... Read more
Am I preparing for Ramadan? Yes and no. With my in-laws out of town right now (it’s the first Ramadan we’re spending apart in several years), I am not worrying so much about pre-cooking and freezing things for dinner and iftaar (in efforts to free up my time from the kitchen during Ramadan). My nine-year-old plans to fast more this month with me (“Mamma, you’ve got to let me fast more than four times like I did last year,” she says... Read more
After years upon years of scrutinizing progress reports and hashing out (and assessing) IEPs (individualized education plan – what special education students have written for them in lieu of following a set school curriculum), I got Lil D’s year-end report card today with percentages listed for his final grades. These percentages translate to letter grades. My son has never received letter grades in his life, as his IEPs have addressed the most basic of academic skills with a heavy emphasis... Read more
I have very vivid memories of the things we did on the 15th of Sha’ban growing up – we threw down hard on Shabaan, with extra ibadat (worship), nafil (extra) prayers and of course fatiha (reciting prayers over some food as an offering of blessings, not to be confused with the Al-Fatiha – the first surah in the Quran). I never questioned where what we did fell in the realm of Islamic practices. My parents did these things on this date... Read more
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