I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude and good days since my last post, in which I reflected on Hamza’s Bismillah and the week afterwards with our family and Lil D, about being grateful for all that went well while still feeling unhappy about all Lil D missed. I am wondering that by the constant pursuit of “better good days,” am I hindering myself from appreciating what is good and peaceful about the moments at hand? Is there a danger in... Read more
The house was too quiet last night, as my husband and I sat on our couch after all kids were in bed, half asleep and tired from the past two weeks of activity. It was a good tired, as my husband remarked to me, “That went well. That was a lot of fun.” He was referring to the lead-up to our youngest son’s Bismillah ceremony, the Bismillah itself, and the week afterwards when his sister and her family stayed with... Read more
Family and guests are arriving, the food is cooked to feed everyone at the house, the batwas (party favors) have been filled and labels added, the laddus (classic Indo-Pakistani dessert) are made, the decorations for the hall are ready, and the food for the party is coming together. It’s Bismillah time at our house. A Bismillah is a cultural/religious occasion (it’s not mandated in Islam), a ceremony that marks when a child is ready to learn how to read the... Read more
I took the kids (younger two) to Jummah (Friday) prayers today at one of our local mosques. The khutbah (sermon) was about making the most of the month of Sha’baan and preparing for the holy month of Ramadan. Sure comes up on you fast, doesn’t it? We are a month away from Ramadan (predicted to start on July 20, depending on the siting of the new moon) and aside from the hilarious spiritual discussion trolling the social networks about how... Read more
Instead of writing a “Father’s Day” post myself, I asked my husband to write – reflect on what it has been like for him to father our three children, to father a special needs child. Though he was on call at the hospital the whole weekend, he took time to write this piece. His experiences and thoughts are similar and different than mine, but as real as mine as well. Yesterday was Father’s Day, and as I was sitting with my eldest... Read more
We ate cake tonight, baked and decorated by our daughter for her big brother. We were celebrating Lil D’s fifth graduation with cake and biryani, and although he had eaten his meal half an hour before and had since retreated upstairs, it was still a celebration. I served the cake to the family on a familiar square yellow platter, decorated with red and blue large dots and covered with Arabic and English writing Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Rahim — In the Name of God, Most... Read more
This is part two of two posts on making tough choices, the blessing of having a supportive family, and the fractured family syndrome. Read part one here. It’s taken me a while to write this part two of my “Fractured Family Syndrome” posts. As time passes from our Memorial Day weekend trip to Toronto — the stress of leaving Lil D at home during a difficult time, of stifling every fiber of maternal instinct that screamed “Stay!”, of realizing that... Read more
Friday night, after the kids went to bed, husband and I collapsed on the couch to do our usual – a little TV watching, some conversation, and decompression. I made it to the couch first, and husband came later, as he was putting our younger two to bed. When he joined me, I was watching the last hour of “The Perfect Storm” – a movie I’ve seen many times and one my husband has little patience for. “Come on,” he... Read more
This is part one of two posts on making tough choices, the blessing of having a supportive family, and the fractured family syndrome. When I was pregnant with Hamza, my now nearly five-year-old, I had a recurring nightmare that grew more frequent and harrowing during my third trimester. The nightmares would place me in various disastrous situations alone with Lil D, Amal, and my future baby. I and the children would be trying to escape whatever was happening (sometimes we... Read more
Good morning, sunshine! Wake up my jaanus (darlings). Time for school. It’s wakey wakey time! La illaha, illallah, Muhammad dur Rasullallah. This is what I say every morning, without fail for the past nine years, as I’ve woken up one, then two and now three children for school. It’s become a routine, something that comforts all of them, even when they are grumpy, whiny or tired and not wanting to get up – a good morning greeting followed by the... Read more
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