I am really not trying to be difficult. I’m not trying to just be a stick-in-the-mud, a nay-sayer, a pain in the butt. But I’ve seen something, tasted something, heard something, felt something, smelled something, experienced something. And I’m not willing to pretend it didn’t happen. It resounds with truth for me. You see, I’ve gone through extremely painful experiences, not only in the church but at the hands of the church. I’m not looking for pity. I abhor pity. Just as I abhor the opposite side of the same coin: flattery. The things that I’ve experienced have taught me something. They’ve taught me something very very important. I’ve come to see the primacy of freedom for the human being. And I’ve also seen how dreams, visions, agendas, goals, desires and passions enslave people. I’ve been there myself!
When I went through the horrific church split 10 years ago, it tore my heart out. The church was the fulfillment of a dream of mine. When it crashed, a friend advised me to simply get another dream. I immediately saw the vacuous but tempting trap that was being set for me. I rejected it. Since then, I reject dreams. I deny visions. However, a few times the temptations were too great and I fell to the temptation, only for my suspicions to be quickly and violently confirmed: visions and dreams by default destroy the beauty of the present and what is. I try not to concern myself with tomorrow. I endeavor to live in the now. I love what there is for me to love. I live my days. And I encourage others to do the same, including our church community.
Does this mean nothing gets done? Certainly not! I believe that this act of being present, living now, focusing on what is, centering down into the actual, is an enormous source of energy. Hasn’t it been said that doing the same mistake over and over again but expecting different results is the definition of insanity? But we in the church do exactly this! I’m done with it! We’re to be fools, I’m told. Sure, but not insane.
The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend Jorgen Klausen and is from his Mask Series.