In But Not Of

I am inside the system. I am a part of the machine. I am one of the so-called leaders of this institution. Most of the time I’m not happy about it. I continuously struggle with it and even against it. This is what makes my blog what it is: it is written by a pastor who critiques the very system he’s a willing but reluctant participant in. I sometimes wonder what would become of my blog if I left the ministry as a full-time paid clergy. Would it mean anything anymore? I think one of the unique aspects of nakedpastor is that I’m still within the system. I often wonder how bought I am by the system. How embroiled am I in it? How vested is my interest? I constantly feel like I’m compromising myself. I sometimes feel guilt about selling out to the system. Then, I remember that it isn’t about the system but the people I pastor who are also within it, the friends I work among. Like marriage I guess… I love Lisa, this person in front of me. If that is true, I don’t even have to consider the institution of marriage. It means nothing. I am in but not of. I always have to remind myself of this, and there is beauty in it.

The fine art photograph (cropped) is the creation of my friend Howard Nowlan.

Have a great long weekend. See you soon!