Destiny Without Destination

This is a very strange season for me. I left the professional ministry of the church back in April, 2010. I haven’t been to a church building since, except twice. I have no sense of urgency to return.

I want to share something with you at the risk of sounding grandiose. I humbly share this because it is key to what is going on with me.

A few years ago I had a dream in which I heard the words, “The world is your parish.” That dream embarked me on a journey I have yet to return from. In fact, I don’t think I will ever return. It is taking me to another destination… a destination that isn’t a destination at all, but rather a commitment to journey forever in a land without destination. It is a destiny without destination.

Interesting… but lately several people I trust have said things like, “Your church is the world,” or, “Your church is global,” or something like that. They know nothing of my dream.

So I used to have to struggle with the fact that even though the world is my parish, I was still pastoring a local congregation. Of course, that struggle is over. Well… no it isn’t, because… and this is my struggle… even though I no longer work for the church nor am part of a local organized church, I still feel beholden to it. I still feel obligated to it. I still feel that, unless I become a part of it again, I will legally have no voice nor the legitimacy to speak for or to it.

You see! Even there I am locked into an old paradigm of church that I simply can’t seem to shake. The world is my parish. Not even beyond the walls of the church, for it is inclusive of the church. My heart still thinks provincially, not universally. It still feels like a minor with a parent. It still thinks like a slave. Even though I “know” I’m free and set loose in the world, I don’t feel it yet. Somehow, the knowledge has to percolate down into the cellular structure of my being.

It will come. I just wanted to share with you my struggle getting there.